How To Be A Spiritual Leader In A Dating Relationship

Matt Ayers joins the cast of Heart of Dating! Matt is a good friend of Kait's and was instrumental in the founding of Vintage Church in Santa Monica, California. He's been married to his lovely wife Stephanie for six years.

Vintage Church in Los Angeles is led by Matthew Ayers, who is a founder member, treasurer, and executive board member. Outside of church, Matthew works at Alex Brown, where he handles the investments of a few very affluent families. Matt, his wife Stephanie, and their two daughters Riley and Dylan live in West Los Angeles. He is a voracious reader, golfer, and traveler.

Kait was blown away by Matt's contributions and convictions when she heard him talk on discipleship at their yearly church retreat a few years ago. Kait hunted him down shortly after at a leadership event hosted by their church and asked him follow-up questions. Since then, Kait has gotten to know him and his wife, Steph, and has grown to like and admire both of them for the way they approach marriage and mentor and disciple others.

Today, Matt and Kait discuss discipleship and spiritual leadership, with a focus on how it pertains to males in romantic relationships. It's a very interesting discussion. They also debate gender roles and leadership at the conclusion, which is fantastic, so make sure you stick around until the end to hear what they have to say!

Why is spiritual leadership important for men?

• Being a spiritual leader is as simple as living a life that exemplifies Christ and allowing others to recognize Jesus-like attributes in your actions.
• Spiritual leadership is a way of life, whereas discipleship is an intentional act.
• Even if we don't realize it, we're always teaching. As a result, we must be deliberate in our instruction.

How do you practical being a spiritual leader in singleness and in dating?

• Being a spiritual leader is about being focused on God, whether you're single or not.
• When you're single, you have more time to devote to God than at any other point in your life.
• If you're dating, you should assess and ensure that your distinct Christian journeys are compatible.
• Set high criteria for yourself and don't compromise… but you must also ask yourself, “Is it possible that YOU are the person they're seeking for?
• “A Christian boy or girl will be smitten by the Jesus they see in YOU.”
• You can't put a relationship's want first; you have to put God first. Prepare to be unmarried and to first fall in love with God.

How do you think being a spiritual leader in a dating relationship plays out for men?

• Keep in mind that dating and marriage are two different things. It's not your business to change or mold someone into a certain persona.
• When you're dating, you're merely getting to know someone to determine if you want to marry them.

What are some essential steps in our life that we can take to become better spiritual leaders?

• Know and love the Lord Jesus Christ. You'll become more like Him as you learn more about Him, and you'll gain a deeper understanding of yourself.
• Humble yourself. Despite having complete authority, Jesus came to earth as a servant. Being a leader necessitates devotion.
• Because marriage is one of the most unselfish and sacrificial acts, we must follow Jesus' example in John 13. Serving others is how Jesus leads.

Why do you think having a “Board of Advisors” is important?

• Possessing a “A “Board of Advisors” is just a group of people you trust and can turn to for godly advice and accountability.
• Mentors can assist you in taking care of yourself and your family “You won't be able to offer to anyone else if you don't take care of yourself.”
• Dating is an assessment, and you want to make an objective assessment. It helps to have a board that isn't emotionally invested.

How can women in a relationship have a voice as well?

• It is the same instruction for both men and women. Love for Jesus, love for others, and discipleship for others are our mandates.
• When it comes to co-leading, Scripture does specify gender roles, however these texts are sometimes taken out of context.
• The word “submission” does not have a negative connotation. Jesus, in turn, bowed to God the Father. God has redefined what it means to be in charge.

What does a spiritual leader look like?

Being a spiritual leader entails both protection and development. This entails respecting and loving your wife, as well as assisting her in becoming the greatest woman she can be. It entails being a good listener and not always attempting to be correct, but rather being interested in what your wife is attempting to share with you.

How can I be a godly girlfriend?

Dating can be a difficult and emotional journey. When we date as teenagers, we don't always make the ideal relationship decisions, and we need to learn how to be the best we can be. As a result, learning how to be a good Christian girlfriend can help us not only manage our dating relationships, but also how to treat each other better in general.

The most essential thing in our lives should always be God.

A lot of things can distract us, and relationships might sometimes take precedence over Him.

A good Christian girlfriend, on the other hand, constantly reminds herself that she is a Christian for a purpose.

God, not our relationship companion, is our focal point. As a result, it involves making prayer, time with God, Bible reading, and church a priority. We can love one another more if we first love God.

We can't take family for granted since it's an excellent, built-in support system. Sadly, most of the people we date in high school will not be the people we marry (sad, but far more true than not true). It doesn't speak much about our ability to honor our parents or love our siblings and sisters if we can place the person we're dating ahead of our family. We must strike a balance, and demonstrating that you love God and your family demonstrates that you can love people unreservedly.

People think in different ways, and while this makes us unique individuals, it can make it difficult to respect one another.

Being a good Christian girlfriend entails treating our dating partner with respect. Our viewpoints differ. Our partners occasionally do things that irritate us. Rather of insisting that your partner do or view things your way, respect your differences and try to understand each other.

When you're with the person you're dating, it's crucial to treat them with respect, but it's as necessary when you're not.

Girls occasionally engage in a game of “who has the worst boyfriend.”

You are not honoring your partner, though, if you disparage them behind their back.

If you're ogling other males and flirting with other people, you're not honoring your spouse.

A faithful girlfriend is also a good girlfriend.

Henpecking is a term used to describe a behavior that is comparable to nagging.

For whatever reason, girlfriends have a tendency to exert control over their partners by nagging them into submission.

A excellent companion, on the other hand, communicates through genuine discussion. Rather than criticizing the person they're dating, they support them. Encourage the person you're dating if they say they want to try something new. Be encouraging and truthful.

We can get into a habit of constantly wanting to be with the person we're dating.

That, on the other hand, might become suffocating, and we can lose ourselves in the other person.

Make sure you set aside some time for yourself.

Spend some time apart from one another.

It may seem pleasant to be together all of the time, but allowing ourselves to do some things on our own enhances the time we spend with our partner.

It is not necessary for a relationship to be serious all of the time.

It's true that affairs of the heart are serious business.

No one enjoys ending a relationship.

Nobody enjoys having their heart shattered.

However, if we take the partnership too seriously, we will lose sight of the point.

Relationships are supposed to be enjoyable. They are supposed to make us feel better and lighter. So look for methods to inject laughter and excitement into your relationship. Do something enjoyable. Find methods to make each other laugh out loud.

What does it mean for a man to lead the relationship?

Playing to each other's strengths is a crucial aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship. Allowing a guy to lead, as Ashley puts it, entails him taking on a specific role in a couple, which necessitates trust.

Being a successful leader entails being straightforward and dependable. I'm not going to be coy or play games with you. That isn't leadership; it is manipulation. Being a pillar in the relationship entails leading more than just our romantic activities—I must be willing to lead conversations and even conflicts with an open mind so that she feels at ease with me. I also want a woman to be able to put her trust in me.

It makes me less wishy-washy.

If I'm unsure of myself when leading a waltz, I'll almost certainly step on the lady's toes. Being the lead in a relationship, on the other hand, makes noncommittal conduct quite evident. Knowing that someone is looking forward to my next action allows me to be more decisive and straightforward.

Furthermore, we are all aware that there will be many difficult times when it may appear to be easier to give up. I'm afraid I'll be tempted to consider the potential of other fish in the sea and abandon her. But continuing to be vague in a relationship isn't fair to her, and it's not beneficial to me.

How do I keep God in the middle of my long distance relationship?

When you begin a Christian long-distance relationship, you may experience a torrent of mixed feelings. Fearful uncertainty sweeps over you and overwhelms you just as the rush of falling in love hits you.

I dated my husband long-distance for a year and a half, so I won't sugarcoat it: the emotional roller coaster doesn't get any easier. Your heart takes a beating when you travel a long distance.

There is, however, a deeper reality that can make the distance not just bearable, but also beautiful. If you put your faith in Jesus Christ, he will teach you how to rejoice in the midst of adversity (Philippians 4:11-13) and how to share your story with others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

It will not be simple to follow Christ, but it will be worthwhile. If you're just getting started in a long-distance relationship, these five tips can help you build a solid foundation.

How do you maintain purity in a relationship?

Always be on the lookout. Don't be fooled into thinking it won't happen to you. Temptation affects everyone, no matter how pious you are, how much you read Scripture and pray about being pure. If you don't take the necessary safeguards while dating, you'll be vulnerable.

Date with a goal in mind. Dating is a pathway to marriage. When it comes to the people you date, be deliberate. Keep in mind that you'll only date possible partners. Having group connections with persons of the opposing gender is a terrific approach to get to know them better. You don't have to use dating to figure out if you're interested in someone.

Define your limits. When you do find someone who possesses the characteristics of a possible spouse, be sure to establish limits early on. Discuss and agree on suitable levels of affection ahead of time. Physical contact has a significant impact. The more your senses are stimulated, the more difficult it is to turn back. Don't play with temptation like a youngster who tries to get their finger as close to the flame as possible before getting burned.

How do I become a strong spiritual leader?

Spiritual leaders are not often found in religious organizations. This is more of a distinction than a criticism. People can be liberated from unreasonable expectations of some leaders by distinguishing spiritual leadership from other forms of leadership.

At the same time, making this distinction might aid in identifying who your organization's spiritual leaders are. The following are six characteristics that most spiritual leaders share:

• They inspire others to have their own spiritual encounters with God. One of the most powerful aspects of Jesus' conduct was that He did not shift gears to introduce His disciples to the reality of God.

Interacting with the Father was so natural that people around Him couldn't help but do the same, whether they were standing in the synagogue or gathering wheat along the route. Whether a spiritual leader is onboarding a new employee or working through a difficult issue, his followers will grow closer to God as a result of the experience.

• They help others find their own sense of purpose and identity. Spiritual leadership is marked by a high level of charity. A spiritual leader truly desires for others to fully realize who they were created to be.

Workplace challenges and strategic development become tools for followers to uncover their own identity and overcome roadblocks. People who work in areas where they have developed their own identity and strength will always be more productive than those who are merely striving to fill a position or duty.

• Not only do they lead others into transformation, but they also lead others into output. Production will always be a natural outcome when the goal is spiritual growth and wellbeing. When people operate from a place of identity, they perform at their best.

Assisting your followers in realizing that their own transformation is possible on the job can increase loyalty and morale. Spiritual leadership inspires followers to be passionate about what they do. The component that transforms people and organizations from production to transformational effect is passion.

• They have an effect on their surroundings. While words alone cannot stop a storm, spiritual leaders realize that they may alter the “temperature” of a room, encounter, or relationship.

Changing the atmosphere is similar to casting vision, only it is instantaneous. When there is tension, anxiety, or indifference, a spiritual leader may restore vision, vigor, and hope by transforming the immediate force of these storms. Even when saying difficult things, a spiritual leader may fill a room with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and gentleness.

• They assist individuals in seeing old things in new light. Many people are caught in their viewpoints and mindsets, not in their situations. “To think differently, or to think in a different way” is what the term “repent” means. Jesus urged people to reconsider old truths with fresh eyes. Meaningful change is always preceded by a shift in mindset.
• They achieve popularity as a result of who they are rather than a job they have. Secular organizations can have spiritual leaders, just as religious organizations can have managers and organizational leaders.

Spiritual leaders inspire rather than instruct, and they influence rather than direct. They have an innate understanding that they are serving something—and Someone—far greater than themselves and their personal goals.

Question: In your life, who has served as a spiritual leader? What distinguishes this individual from other leaders? By clicking here, you can leave a remark.

Can anyone be a spiritual leader?

As a result, anyone can become a leader. More importantly, anyone can become a spiritual leader, but it all starts with deciding to let God mold you into one. God uses our talents, strengths, flaws, personalities, and other characteristics that make us “us” in order for us to lead.

How do you keep a Godly courtship?

• Talk a lot, then talk some more, and then talk some more. Discuss your plans, your anxieties, and your goals. Discuss where you want to live, how many children you want to have, and what you hope to accomplish.
• Pray with one another. This will assist you in discerning God's will for your life. As the Bible instructs, pray without ceasing.
• Study and put God's Word into practice. Have Bible study hours in an open area on a regular basis. This is a fantastic method to get your future family involved in Bible study.
• Together, you can go to amazing destinations. Jack is a dull boy, and Jenny is a dull girl, if they don't have any fun. Visit gardens, parks, restaurants, and other attractions. Play games and have a good time with your friends.
• Make sure your parents are aware of your plans. Parents are often far more perceptive than we are. As a result, don't keep your relationship a secret from your parents. Allow them to meet the man or woman you wish to marry.