How To Be A Spiritual Leader In A Marriage

Being a spiritual leader entails both protection and development. This entails respecting and loving your wife, as well as assisting her in becoming the greatest woman she can be. It entails being a good listener and not always attempting to be correct, but rather being interested in what your wife is attempting to share with you.

How do I spiritually lead my wife?

5. Check in with her to see how her day is going. While you're at work, send her a text or give her a brief call. Make it clear to her that you care.

6. Pay attention to what she has to say. It shows you care when you listen to what she says and perhaps even inquire about it afterwards. And she's considerably more likely to take the advice of someone she cares about.

7. Pay attention to the things she doesn't say. I understand. This one is a little more difficult. But it's equally vital. Though you may believe we never hold back because we speak thousands of words each day more than you, we do. Our deepest anxieties, worries, and insecurities.

8. Recognize when she has taken on too many obligations and let her know. It can be difficult for us to say no at times. Please assist us. (Yes, this is a difficult one, and we may not listen at first, but speak out.)

9. Recognize when she is lonely and provide her encouragement. Your wife, believe it or not, requires the company and encouragement of other women. While I'm sure she appreciates taking care of her family and you most of the time, I'm sure she will enjoy it even more when she has other women to chat to and bounce ideas off of – (or do you really want to hear about how difficult it is to get stains out of cloth diapers yet another time?) So, if your wife is avoiding events at church, after work, or with her regular group of friends because she's too busy at home, tell her that such things can wait, and urge her to come out and have some girl time. It'll most likely be therecharge that she requires.

10. Don't make her feel obligated to obey (or submit) you. Good leaders aren't required to impose their authority. And a wife's submission to her husband is a free act on her part, as is her obedience to God. So don't offer her any excuses for not doing so.

11. Pay attention to the things she does for you and your family. Tell her how much you value her efforts.

12.Start more and settle less. I believe that many times wives step into the leadership role in the home because their husbands refuse or are hesitant to do so. So, whether it's paying a bill or disciplining one of your children, don't wait for her to offer advice on how to address an issue. You take responsibility of the tasks at hand.

13. Consider your function as a husband to be a divine calling. Husbands can excel when they first understand they've been called to lead their wives and families, just as wives blossom when they see the purpose God has called them to as a wife or a mother.

14. Prioritize your personal relationship with God. It will be more difficult for you to make the proper choices and decisions for your family if God isn't foremost in your life, and it will be even more difficult for your wife to follow you.

15.Be the first to express regret. If you have a disagreement with your wife, don't wait for her to apologize first. You are the one who starts the conversation. You're taking charge of your marriage and family by doing so.

16. Take advice from other men on how to lead. Find spiritual mentors in your church that have strong marriages and strong spiritual walks. Examine how they lead their spouses and families and inquire about their methods.

17. Allow her to have some alone time. Take the kids on a Saturday morning outing, even if it's only to the grocery store, and allow her some time to do whatever she wants – with the caveat that it can't involve chores.

18. Take care of her mental health by giving her a bubble bath every now and then. Remind her how important it is to take time off.

19. Take charge of your children's discipline. Don't rely solely on your wife to raise your children. Take an active role in your children's lives, including teaching them the difference between right and wrong.

20. Look for small methods to let her know you're thinking about her. When my spouse is at home, he makes it a point to always pack me up when I fly. It's something he excels at, and it makes me feel good to know he's keeping an eye on me.

How can I grow spiritually in my marriage?

This one may appear to be self-evident, yet it's easy to overlook. You could go weeks or months without sitting together in an actual church service if you're volunteering in the children's ministry or another area during the normal worship service. There's nothing wrong with serving (it's why we included it on this list), but don't let it become an impediment to spiritual growth.

How do you become a spiritual leader in a relationship?

Matt Ayers joins the cast of Heart of Dating! Matt is a good friend of Kait's and was instrumental in the founding of Vintage Church in Santa Monica, California. He's been married to his lovely wife Stephanie for six years.

Vintage Church in Los Angeles is led by Matthew Ayers, who is a founder member, treasurer, and executive board member. Outside of church, Matthew works at Alex Brown, where he handles the investments of a few very affluent families. Matt, his wife Stephanie, and their two daughters Riley and Dylan live in West Los Angeles. He is a voracious reader, golfer, and traveler.

Kait was blown away by Matt's contributions and convictions when she heard him talk on discipleship at their yearly church retreat a few years ago. Kait hunted him down shortly after at a leadership event hosted by their church and asked him follow-up questions. Since then, Kait has gotten to know him and his wife, Steph, and has grown to like and admire both of them for the way they approach marriage and mentor and disciple others.

Today, Matt and Kait discuss discipleship and spiritual leadership, with a focus on how it pertains to males in romantic relationships. It's a very interesting discussion. They also debate gender roles and leadership at the conclusion, which is fantastic, so make sure you stick around until the end to hear what they have to say!

Why is spiritual leadership important for men?

• Being a spiritual leader is as simple as living a life that exemplifies Christ and allowing others to recognize Jesus-like attributes in your actions.
• Spiritual leadership is a way of life, whereas discipleship is an intentional act.
• Even if we don't realize it, we're always teaching. As a result, we must be deliberate in our instruction.

How do you practical being a spiritual leader in singleness and in dating?

• Being a spiritual leader is about being focused on God, whether you're single or not.
• When you're single, you have more time to devote to God than at any other point in your life.
• If you're dating, you should assess and ensure that your distinct Christian journeys are compatible.
• Set high criteria for yourself and don't compromise… but you must also ask yourself, “Is it possible that YOU are the person they're seeking for?
• “A Christian boy or girl will be smitten by the Jesus they see in YOU.”
• You can't put a relationship's want first; you have to put God first. Prepare to be unmarried and to first fall in love with God.

How do you think being a spiritual leader in a dating relationship plays out for men?

• Keep in mind that dating and marriage are two different things. It's not your business to change or mold someone into a certain persona.
• When you're dating, you're merely getting to know someone to determine if you want to marry them.

What are some essential steps in our life that we can take to become better spiritual leaders?

• Know and love the Lord Jesus Christ. You'll become more like Him as you learn more about Him, and you'll gain a deeper understanding of yourself.
• Humble yourself. Despite having complete authority, Jesus came to earth as a servant. Being a leader necessitates devotion.
• Because marriage is one of the most unselfish and sacrificial acts, we must follow Jesus' example in John 13. Serving others is how Jesus leads.

Why do you think having a “Board of Advisors” is important?

• Possessing a “A “Board of Advisors” is just a group of people you trust and can turn to for godly advice and accountability.
• Mentors can assist you in taking care of yourself and your family “You won't be able to offer to anyone else if you don't take care of yourself.”
• Dating is an assessment, and you want to make an objective assessment. It helps to have a board that isn't emotionally invested.

How can women in a relationship have a voice as well?

• It is the same instruction for both men and women. Love for Jesus, love for others, and discipleship for others are our mandates.
• When it comes to co-leading, Scripture does specify gender roles, however these texts are sometimes taken out of context.
• The word “submission” does not have a negative connotation. Jesus, in turn, bowed to God the Father. God has redefined what it means to be in charge.

What are spiritual needs in marriage?

It may seem unbelievable, but studies have shown that most people treat strangers better than their own spouse. There is a continual flow of soft kindness and real concern in a spiritual marriage. This is an active process in which you strive to understand your relationship, be aware of his or her needs, and respond to your spouse with all of your being.

What does leadership look like in marriage?

Being a spiritual leader entails both protection and development. This entails respecting and loving your wife, as well as assisting her in becoming the greatest woman she can be. It entails being a good listener and not always attempting to be correct, but rather being interested in what your wife is attempting to share with you.

Commit to something higher.

The innovative thought that your purpose is to support each other on your path to ultimate progress, to become your highest self, raises a spiritual partnership above an ordinary relationship. Make it obvious that you're striving for spiritual growth, not just physical stability or emotional support.

This means you're helping each other on your path to becoming a more “enlightened” person. Your relationship's day-to-day functioning will be determined by the goals you set for it. Expect long-term satisfaction if your objective is a radical evolution of your body, mind, and spirit; expect fulfillment beyond your dreams if your goal is a radical evolution of your body, mind, and spirit.

How can I get closer to my husband?

1) Be daring. Take some time to consider what makes you truly happy in your relationship. People are more likely to get tied up in all the things that aren't working for them than to consider what may. Consider what you want to happen in your relationship with your partner. Do you want it to be a thrilling experience? Affectionate? Romantic? Is there a change in the routine? It's best to focus your intentions on a general feeling between you two rather than a specific course of events, because getting overly attached to a single notion might lead to disappointment and prevent closeness from organically flowing.

Consider the specific things you'd like to happen and the steps that would be required to make it happen. It's simple to imagine what you'd like your spouse to do, but how about you? What could you do that would be a significant step forward in the direction you want things to go? Don't be scared to take risks or to go large. People frequently believe they are expressing more than they are, only to be disappointed when their spouse fails to notice or respond. They may play it safe and avoid truly putting themselves out there for fear of looking silly or being disappointed. To receive love, though, we must be prepared to let our defenses down and be vulnerable.

When it comes to love, don't be scared to take risks. “Never forget that love is not simply a term,” author Tamsen Firestone wrote in her book, appropriately titled Daring to Love. It's also a verb, meaning it performs an action. Your ability to choose the acts you will take is the source of your greatest power and freedom in life.” This does not imply that you must fill a room with roses or organize a lavish occasion. Being more flirty, acknowledging, or affectionate can all be examples of this. It could be as simple as changing a pattern, surprise your partner in a little way, or simply slowing down to give them your undivided attention. Don't talk yourself out of taking whatever action comes to mind; just do it.

2) Stop comparing yourself to others. When couples assess their activities against each other, they are more likely to fall into difficulty. It's tempting in a relationship to keep track of everything you're doing when your partner isn't. When you start thinking about putting yourself out there or trying harder in some way while your partner is distracted, for example, you'll most likely draw back and become guarded or judgmental. Because you're focused constructing a case, you can overlook some of the ways your partner is reaching out and offering something.

It's important to keep in mind that your partner has his or her own internal (and outward) existence. You may not always feel like you're getting the response or attunement you want since they're dealing with something unrelated to you. It's fine to be there for your partner even if they aren't fully there for themselves. It's okay to let go of the minor details and recognize that you each have something special to offer. This does not imply that you should support someone who is constantly cruel, ungenerous, or who does not make you happy. Making continuous or nitpicky comparisons with someone you share your life with, on the other hand, could be the work of your “critical inner voice,” an internal commentary that undermines you and your connection. It has the greatest impact on you, and it can interfere with your own love feelings for your partner.

Your critical inner voice can constantly discover things that your partner could be doing better, but you're the only one in your relationship who can manage it. When you get caught up in a tit-for-tat mentality, you forget that love isn't a game, and kindness isn't a way to gain an advantage. Even (or especially) when your partner is having a bad day, being affectionate and generous is a method for re-connecting with them. And it's a decision you have the power to make.

3) Make a request for what you desire. Saying what you want directly is one of the best ways to stay close to your mate. People underestimate how difficult this may be. They believe they are expressing themselves directly when, in reality, they are implying, nagging, complaining, demanding, or expecting their partner to read their mind.

Being straightforward and upfront can make you feel exposed. If you don't say what you want or state it in a way that comes out as critical toward your partner, you may try to prevent feeling hurt or let down. You might find yourself making deep jokes or commentary, such as “well, if you ever got home early enough, we could actually see each other,” or “well, if you ever got home early enough, we could actually see each other.” When you aren't satisfied, you can either stonewall or punish your companion. You do this a lot of the time because your critical inner voice is telling you to protect yourself and not speak what you desire. It indicates that you will be disappointed and that you cannot trust your companion.

Getting close to your partner frequently means getting past your critical inner voice and saying what you desire clearly. When communicating as an adult, try to be transparent and vulnerable without coming across as victimized or angry. Take Dr. Les Greenberg's advise and say something more general about what you want, then express a more specific goal that your spouse might be able to achieve. If you feel that your spouse hasn't been available, for example, you could say, “I miss you.” I'd like to sense your attraction and curiosity. I enjoy it when we spend some time at the end of the day catching up.” Being open and vulnerable allows your spouse to get to know you and care about you without putting you on the defensive. They're also more likely to provide you exactly what you desire.

4) Take a deep breath. When I propose that you take a break from your partner, I don't mean that you should break up or put your relationship on hold. I simply mean that a little time and space can be revitalizing and provide some perspective, especially when things between you become either extremely complicated or fairly mundane and normal. When you spend a long time with someone, you may begin to act as a unit, with an implicit pressure to do everything together. The issue is that the appearance of being a couple might take precedence over the substance of true connection.

To be close, you don't have to be together all of the time. Allowing yourself time to do your own thing allows you to gain perspective, miss the other person, and enjoy them all over again. This kind of clarity can come from a few hours, a single evening, or a week or two away for some couples. These breaks should not be used to scold or threaten your partner, but rather to reconnect with a feeling within yourself.

5) Revert to your former self. When a couple is going through a difficult time, they typically yearn for or miss the person they first fell in love with. They talk about how the other person has evolved throughout the course of the relationship, but they frequently leave out some key and vulnerable aspects. When a couple gets into a fantasy bond, an illusion of fusion that replaces actual, essential sensations of love, these features generally fade. The truth is that many of us miss these attributes in ourselves when we enter a fantasy alliance. We have no idea where all of our own vitality, independence, and loving feelings have vanished to.

Consider how you felt about yourself the first time you fell in love. What were your thoughts on your partner? What actions did you take as a result of those feelings? Most people exhibit greater interest, respect, kindness, and excitement toward their partner in the early phases of a love relationship, but they also feel more curiosity, confidence, caring, and energy within themselves. Consider the traits that are important to you and strive to maintain them, because you will feel most in love when you are most yourself.

Of course, everyone matures and grows, so being the person your partner fell in love with isn't about pretending to be an older version of yourself. In fact, it's almost entirely unrelated to your spouse. Rather, it's a practice in regaining a positive attitude toward yourself, your partner, and, in many cases, your life in general.

“We fall in love by chance, we stay in love by decision,” is a phrase you may have heard. Maintaining your affections toward your partner is often a matter of keeping alive to love within yourself, which may sound simple or unromantic. If you want to feel connected and in love with someone, you must continuously opening yourself up to them and taking loving behaviors toward them. The majority of the activities we commit in the name of love are acts of vulnerability and defenselessness. These five steps aren't any different. They could make you feel a little risky, insecure, or vulnerable, but they're important steps in staying in love.

What are the 4 skills to dare to lead?

However, no major achievement is achieved without a series of setbacks, disappointments, obstacles, and failures. Leadership necessitates bravery, and bravery necessitates a unique type of vulnerability.

There are four skill sets for courageous leadership, according to Dr. Brené Brown's work, as documented in her book Dare to Lead.

“You can't get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability,” Brené Brown explains. When you can't control the outcome, this means having the bravery to show up fully. Every meeting, email, phone call, and face-to-face contact inside and beyond the business is about being vulnerable in your connections with others.