Question from a reader: I'm happily married and plan to spend the rest of my life with him. He's beautiful, entertaining, and a fantastic father. He is one of my favorite people. I met a man recently who I believe is my soulmate. I don't want to upset my spouse, but this new man makes me feel so alive and fulfilled. I wasn't expecting this and am at a loss on what to do. Will I give up the possibility to be with my soulmate if I stay with my husband? If I abandon my spouse, he and our children would suffer greatly. What is causing this?
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This question has no easy answer, and you should be applauded for carefully feeling your way through it and doing your best to be respectful of everyone's sentiments. It pertains to a lot more than simply your marriage.
First, let's take a look at the big picture…
There's a popular belief that soulmates are always romantic partners. Most of us believe that romantic relationships are the only type of soulmate, but that isn't the case. Every single individual we meet is a soulmate in some form or another. There are many different kinds, and they serve a variety of functions, but they all have the primary goal of assisting us in awakening and returning to our original love. Our soulmates include family, friends, coworkers, and even enemies and victims. That indicates you're soulmates with both your existing husband and this new man.
What most of us consider to be a soulmate is more commonly referred to as our Twin Soul. Our Twin Soul is actually a “separated” or “lost” part of our soul. (In fact, you are your own Soul Twin at the end of the day, but that's beyond the scope of this article.) Read “What's the Difference Between Soul Mates and Soul Twins?” for more information on Soul Twins.) When we meet someone who reminds us of that “lost” part of ourselves, it's as if a puzzle piece has fallen into place. People frequently confuse quick chemistry with the Twin Soul connection, but chemistry and homecoming are two completely different things. The first is external, whereas the second is interior.
A Companion Mate can also give us that homecoming sense, further muddying the waters. (For additional information on soulmate types and roles, see The Many Types of Soulmates.)
My guess is that you feel this new man is your Twin Soul, but there are other possibilities.
The first thing you should consider is whether this man's physical attractiveness has any other spiritual purpose in your life. Clearly, he's had a significant impact and is here for a significant reason. He is a wake-up call and catalyst, regardless of why he has emerged, his apparition signifying that a change of some type is on the horizon. It's up to you to look above the surface emotions and determine what the change is. Listed below are a few options:
- It is time to graciously and respectfully leave your marriage, doing your best to preserve a cordial, caring, and supporting connection with the family you have already built and obviously care for.
- He could be a different kind of soulmate, a teaching mate who brings a wake-up call to your current relationship. Even if you weren't conscious of it, it may have been a touch too cozy to the point of becoming monotonous and routine. Your attraction to him could be a symptom of your own underlying ennui. Consider the idea that his soulmate duty is to help you stay in your current marriage rather than luring you away to a new one.
- His soulmate duty could be to assist you in becoming free so that you can embark on a period of tremendous personal growth, or to be ready and available when your genuine loving soulmate emerges. He may become your new husband or partner in this situation, but the connection is more likely to be a stepping stone.
- He could be a sign that your husband is dissatisfied with his current situation. Your husband, like you, may have been mostly satisfied, but he senses there is something more. Perhaps this man is demonstrating to you what your spouse desires, how he wishes to engage with you, and who he could become if he had a different interaction with you.
- It's also possible that you're not your husband's love destiny, but that you must be the one who lovingly prepare the way for him.
This man's greatest gift to you is the opportunity for introspection and soul-searching. He is not your Twin Soul in four of the five scenarios above, but he is nonetheless sparking a critical awakening for you. Perhaps these thoughts and questions will be of assistance.
- Are you willing to end your marriage since you don't know if things will work out with the new man you've met? What if he isn't The One and is instead serving another spiritual purpose, even if it's only for a brief moment of strong chemistry? Consider whether or not this man will be a good husband or partner for you. If his soulmate purpose is to assist you in some other way, he may only be in your life for a short time, and you may have multiple relationships, including those that are unpleasant, before finding The One. Are you up for the challenge? Are you ready to go through life alone, potentially for a long time? Are you prepared to date as an adult and possibly lose friends and respect? Are you ready for a new kind of relationship with your kids? Ending a marriage has both positive and negative implications. Are you prepared to face them?
- Is it the novelty of meeting someone new that makes you feel alive, or is this something truly unique?
- For most people in this position, it's practically impossible to respond because all they can feel is adrenaline. Take a moment to take a step back and consider how you're feeling. Remember that meeting a Twin Soul is about connection rather than chemistry.
- Has your marriage become regular and dusty, despite your best intentions to stay married? Could meeting this new guy serve as a wake-up call to get things in order? Did you have a similar strong bond with your hubby in the start? If not, what drew you in and is it still important to you both? Would you contemplate leaving your husband for this new man if you were currently experiencing the same linked feeling with him, whether you felt it at the start or not?
- Is it feasible to re-create the same degree of enthusiasm and connection with your husband?
- Is it possible for you to rekindle the romance with him?
- Is it time to accept that your deepest connection was not the foundation of your relationship and move on compassionately?
We marry for a variety of reasons, some good and others bad. Even when we marry for the right reasons, not all marriages are built on the deep soul connections we eventually seek. Your marriage may have been the ideal match for both of you at the time, but one or both of you may have outgrown it. Most couples do not mature at the same rate, yet some are able to use this to their advantage in their relationship.
There are also situations where one partner wants to advance while the other wants to stay put. If you are the spouse yearning for change, even if it is a sudden and unexpected need, you may not be able to return to your previous comfort and must consider the implications for your marriage and hasband. Staying may wind up injuring this man you love who has been a fantastic spouse and the father of your children if your drive to evolve has become a pushing life-force.
One of life's most fundamental realities is that the Giver becomes the Receiver, and partnerships are its purest manifestation. What could you provide to your husband (attention, affection, or aid, for example) in exchange for the connection you desire? What do you think your husband's reaction would be? “New” to you? How will you react if, after meeting the New You, he is still completely fine with the status quo or refuses to change at all?
You should also consider it from a different perspective. Consider how you'd feel if the tables were turned and your husband met someone he thought was his soulmate. What would you like him to do in this situation?
This personal growth approach should not be surprising, but it frequently is. We accept physical growth stages and would never judge an infant for not being able to eat a steak, walk, or talk. Personal development follows a similar pattern. And, just as physical development spurts are accompanied by growing pains, emotional growth spurts are accompanied by emotional suffering.
From a soul standpoint, there are no wrong responses, however there are bad ways to navigate the circumstance. You can only do your best to figure out what's best for you, while realizing that self-love and self-care (not selfish love or selfish care) are necessary. You've been given a cosmic kick in the pants, and it's evident that you need to take action. I appreciate you taking the time to carefully explore your options.
Before acting on this new soulmate possibility, you must first decide what you want to do with your current marriage. As a responsible person, you should expect some pain during this process. Whether you choose to stay or leave your marriage, you will need to support your husband and children during this transition. There will be practical concerns to consider if you decide to dissolve your marriage. Will you be able to take care of your family's financial and emotional obligations? They will rely on the love promises you have already made to them. Will you and your husband be able to reconcile your differences? Will you be able to parent your children together? Are you willing to go the extra mile, accepting personal responsibility for making this transition as painless as possible for those you care about? Are you willing to go the extra mile, accepting personal responsibility for making this transition as painless as possible for those you care about?
The truth is that we can meet our romantic soulmate at any time, in any situation.
Every day, we make relationship decisions, but not all of them are as life-altering as the one you're facing. In certain circumstances, the best response comes to us automatically. Others will necessitate extensive soul-searching and are certain to cause unrest.
You inquired if you'd miss out on being with your soulmate for the rest of your life if you didn't take advantage of this opportunity. The solution is “No,” says the speaker. Whatever decision you choose here, you and your Twin Soul will eventually rejoin. Even though you are presently being blinded by the lies you are making yourself about your existing husband and this new man, you may have already been united. Regardless, a slew of soulmates will arrive in your life, some romantic, others not, all with the goal of hastening your return to your first love.
You'll notice something “More questions, which only you can answer, are the “solution” to this query. Whatever you decide, things will be different from now on. You, your husband, your children, and the other man will not be transformed by this encounter. You must make the decision you believe is best for your soul, then do everything you can to make it as painless as possible for everyone else.
If you believe this man is your Twin Soul, go for it.
But please do so with kindness, compassion, and awareness. And keep in mind that just because you're with your Twin Soul doesn't mean you won't have ups and downs. You will not be immune to the trials, awakenings, and healings that come with being a human being. In fact, everything that needs to be healed in either of you will undoubtedly surface. However, you will also discover the true meaning of love with your Soul Twin “The Two become One” and will be able to aid each other through the rest of your awakening.
UPDATE: This post is still receiving comments and private messages over a year later. Please see the most recent post on the same subject: Although I believe she is my soul mate, we are both married.
What happens to your body when you meet your soulmate?
When you meet your love, your dopamine levels will skyrocket. When you meet your soulmate and fall in love, it's natural to feel pleased and giddy all of the time. You're completely ecstatic when you're with your love, and your face is probably hurting from smiling so much.
What are the signs of meeting your soulmate?
2. They're your closest companion.
Because friendship is the best basis for every relationship, why do you think so many rom coms include two BFFs who marry? It's a fantastic indicator if you and your SO have a trustworthy, happy friendship.
3. When you're among them, you feel at ease.
Because you spend so much time with your significant other, you should feel at ease and at ease when you're with them. Naturally, there will be butterflies and nerves at first, but once you've gotten to know one other, it should seem completely natural.
What is the most common age to meet your soulmate?
The typical woman discovers her life partner at the age of 25, while males are more likely to find their soulmate at the age of 28, with half of people finding ‘the one' in their twenties, according to the study.
They also discovered that most people waited five months to declare “I love you” for the first time, as well as update their relationship status on Facebook, and six months to be granted their own drawer at their partner's house.
Can you be attracted to someone else while married?
When you're married, having a crush on someone else doesn't make you a horrible person. It's also not a reflection of your relationship. Having a crush, believe it or not, may not imply anything at all. Even in pleasant, healthy, committed partnerships, people sometimes get fluttery feelings for beautiful others. Crush sentiments don't have to be related to your marriage, your spouse, or the person you're crushing on.
Do soulmates meet unexpectedly?
1. You've broken up frequently unexpectedly and unpredictably. Rarely do soulmates share an experience “Despite what the media and culture tell us, we can have “happily ever after” right away. Often, the encounter is too strong to digest right away, and you must take a break. You do, however, find your way back.
2. They've made you a better person. The people who have had the greatest impact on us are those who have altered us simply by being in our lives, uprooting all we thought we knew and desired. It's not a bad thing; this is something that happens all the time.
3. You see a member of your family in them. This may sound strange, but I can always tell if someone is going to be someone to me when I meet them for the first time because they remind me of my mother, father, or sibling not in a scary manner, but in a passing way “in a “oh, that's amusing” kind of way.
4. It is possible that you may not have “You may not have “just known” they were the one the moment you saw them, but you do now. There's a lot of pressure to be completely positive that someone is intended for you forever and ever and ever, to the point where you wind up misjudging them because you think you need a verdict while you're still getting to know them and maybe can't even decipher that much. Overall, you take a step back and think, “Yeah, they're it.”
5. They are the only ones who have seen your worst self. True soulmates are a direct reflection of you, thus they will inevitably reveal all of your flaws.
6. You recognize each other almost instantly, almost as if you've known one other for a long time. Because you've almost certainly done so.
7. Strange ties between significant dates (such as your births, your meeting, etc.) You were born 9 months apart, and you met on your brother's birthday… there is a strange synchronicity that occurs when you meet your soulmate.
8. You've experienced strange, cryptic dreams about each other before meeting, even if you couldn't place a face or figure in your dreams.
9. Or at the very least, you had a strong feeling they were coming. You were solely interested in finding that when you were a child “For you, only one person.” You didn't want to date around like your peers; all you wanted to do was locate that one and call it a day.
10. You met when you were young and reconnected when you were older, either physically or spiritually and mentally.
11. When you look into their eyes, you notice something that is practically undefinable, but you don't see it in anyone else.
12. You understand what they're going through, even if you're not naturally sympathetic. You can tell when something isn't quite right, whether it's physically or mentally. You can sense what they're thinking and feeling even if they don't say anything.
13. It's more than a sensation. Meeting them made you realize that romantic love, particularly amongst soulmates, is so much more than a brief physical sensation. It's more of an inner, gut feeling that runs through your entire relationship, even (and perhaps especially) while you're apart.
14. You have the most powerful chemistry you've ever felt. You're more drawn to them than anything else, and you've never gone through the stages of being attracted to each other, going out, and so on. You were simply kind of together, as if you'd never been separated before.
They're yours “I'm back at home.” You are aware of this “Home” refers to the person or location to which you always want to return, and they are it for you.
16. Despite everything, you know that there is no other option you've already made your decision. In life, you may fall in love with other individuals. You could technically spend the rest of your life with a thousand other people, but you know you shouldn't. In this way, it's never a matter of forcing the connection to work; rather, it's a matter of letting it unfold as you know it should, even if there's no tangible evidence.
Can a soulmate trigger you?
Surprise! Someone who is in your life to teach you is a true soulmate. Soulmates have the ability to make you feel like the world is your oyster while also triggering you. But don't worry, all of this “triggering” is for your benefit. Relationships reflect how we feel about ourselves, and let's face it, that's not always a nice picture. Don't hold anything against me. It's just that I'm the messenger. This was not orchestrated by me. In fact, YOU were the one who did it! You decided what lessons your soul needed to learn and how you were going to learn them before you came to Earth.
How many Soulmates do we have?
You can have multiple soulmates. “You only have one twin flame,” says the narrator. According to the belief, if you meet someone with whom you have a strong connection, there's a good chance they're a member of your larger soul family.
Where do soulmates meet?
If you're anything like me, you'll look like a clammy, wet trainwreck after every workout. The gym isn't the place to flaunt your gorgeous side, but you don't have to look like a swan all of the time if you're serious about someone. If there's a regular at the gym you'd want to meet, go up to him or her when you're ready. Not to go all schoolgirl on you, but if approaching strangers makes you anxious, bring a friend with you. You're not the only one who feels this way.
How do you know if the universe wants you to be with someone?
There will be synchronicity and energetic flow when the universe wants you to be with someone. You'll meet someone who has all of the qualities you're looking for in a companion. Your ideals will be in alignment, your energies will be balanced, and there will be plenty of room for expansion.