Step 9 is another of the 12 steps that looks to be the most challenging at first, yet the benefits of applying this principle can be enormous. The spiritual element at hand is forgiveness, not just from others but also from oneself, which has the potential to heal both parties.
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What is the purpose of Step 9?
“Made direct reparations to such people wherever possible, except where doing so would hurt them or others,” says Step 9 of the 12 Steps. Step 9's goal is to accept the harm caused by past alcohol or drug abuse and, to the extent possible, make amends with those affected. It's something you'll regularly hear about at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and other similar gatherings.
Making amends is not the same as living amends. It entails adopting a completely new, sober lifestyle and committing to it for the sake of yourself and those you've wronged in the past.
Making apologies also entails making genuine adjustments through truthful and honest acts and behaviors, as well as staying emotionally sober.
1 Making apologies actually entails changing one's way of life.
What's the difference between making amends and apologizing?
The distinction between amends and apology as nouns is that amends is compensation for a loss or injury; recompense; reparation, whereas apology is a display of guilt or regret for having said or done anything that has caused harm to another: an example of apologizing (saying that one is sorry).
What are the 12 spiritual principles?
Acceptance, hope, faith, courage, honesty, patience, humility, willingness, brotherly-love, integrity, self-discipline, and service are the 12 spiritual principles of recovery.
What are the spiritual principles?
When one's challenges are overwhelmed by dread and anguish, the path to release from one's struggles is rarely evident. COVID-19 has caused great consternation, making this path appear hazy and dangerous. Let's clear some space for ourselves.
Spiritual principles lay out a road for us to live lives devoid of unnecessary suffering, with the fortitude and resilience to face the grief and terror that are unavoidable parts of life. At RCA, we use the 12 Step Model of addiction treatment to help patients work through the internal chaos and discover the strength they need to rise above and overcome their challenges.
While the 12 Step Model can assist those suffering from addiction discover the calm and power they need to heal, the principles that underpin it can be applied to any condition. Even in these moments of worry and anxiety, applying the principles can help to alleviate stress and promote overall wellbeing.
These principles, combined with a regular practice of pausing and thinking on them, can help us cope with anything life throws at us.
The Serenity Prayer is a prevalent theme in many recovery circles as a method to pause and allow oneself to return to the present moment and the serenity that is alight inside them, whether or not they recognize it at the time.
Let's make a version of this to think about and express (or even simply read) when we're feeling powerless in the face of the world's current conditions:
Please give me the peace of mind to accept the things I can't change, such as Nature's course.
Grant me the courage to make the changes I can, such as living by spiritual values and taking care of my health, despite how tough it may appear.
And give me the insight to recognize the difference, to understand that I have no control over my choices and that Love will guide me through any experience I may have.
Keep in mind what your life's mission is. It is not to be subjected to interminable suffering and to be at the mercy of life's events. It is to be free, to live in Love rather than fear, and to know that this experience is possible and available to you at any time and in any place, regardless of anything may obstruct your way. It is constantly present within you. Take your time to locate it, and you'll be able to bear nearly any “how” if you do.
What are the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous?
Steps are as follows: “We sought to transmit this message to alcoholics and to implement these principles in all our dealings after having a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps.” According to Alcoholics Anonymous Cleveland, the following principles should be followed: hope, faith, bravery, integrity, willingness, humility, love, discipline, patience, awareness, and service. They do, however, note out that “There have been many various spiritual virtue lists written by other AA's throughout the years that allude to the Twelve Steps. Although many AA members use them, they are not Conference Approved, and their origin is unknown.” Whatever the specifics of spiritual principles are, the key is that we do our best to live as we believe our Higher Power intended. This entails a life free of selfish and self-serving motivations and an emphasis on helping others. We acknowledge that knowing about the spiritual life isn't enough; we need to live it.
What are indirect amends?
Making amends is not the same as apologizing. 1 An apology conveys remorse for your actions and regrets the decision(s) you took to cause harm to another person. Making amends with someone, on the other hand, is more about justice and righting a previous wrong.
A modification can be direct or indirect.
2 Although Step 9 of the 12-Step Program recommends making direct amends wherever possible, an indirect amend may be required in specific instances.
- Going to the person you harmed, accepting responsibility for the pain you did, and actively healing the damage is what a direct amend entails. For instance, if you were intoxicated and punched a hole in your mother's wall, making a direct amends would entail going to her, admitting your mistake, and then mending the hole in the wall for her.
A direct apology, on the other hand, should be followed by long-term lifestyle modifications that indicate your sincerity. As an example, in the previous scenario, this would entail always treating your mother's home and property with respect.
- The beliefs and attitudes that underpin the conduct are referred to as an indirect amend. You can make a direct amend to someone, such as returning them for the money you stole, and then make an indirect amend, such as changing your mindset and refusing to ask for or demand money from your loved one. Alternatively, if you do borrow money, make a payback plan and stick to it.
A straight amendment may not be possible in some cases. For example, if a loved one was killed as a result of your addiction, you may not be able to bring that person back, but you can start a charity in their honor or volunteer your free time for a cause that is meaningful to the loved ones they left behind.
Each person in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation program will have a unique experience making amends. A client may have a large or short list of persons to make amends with, depending on their former behaviors and experiences in active addiction, but making amends is a vital component of the recovery process in either case, because addiction impacts the addict's friends and loved ones as well.
What is the spiritual principle of step 10?
When we are upset, as The Big Book explains, it is usually because we find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact in our existence undesirable. When we are disturbed, we often blame our feelings and reactions on other individuals. Typically, alcoholics and addicts have turned harboring resentments and finding fault into an art form! When we remark that other people have power over our lives, we usually mean that they do “make us” enraged, unhappy, or fearful In actuality, we frequently say or do something that contributes to the existence of these conflicts in our lives. The tenth step of Alcoholics Anonymous urges that we take responsibility for our actions and clean up our mess as soon as possible. This necessitates a willingness to discard selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, or fear as soon as they arise. The spiritual values of vigilance, upkeep, and endurance are put into effect in AA's tenth step.
Recognizing and appreciating what is working and balanced can also assist us in identifying what is out of balance and not working. Continuing to take personal inventory isn't only about figuring out when we're wrong; we can't figure out when we're wrong until we've also figured out when we've handled things correctly “as a starting point for a comparison Working with our sponsor to identify the moments and situations when we do things properly in Step 10 is extremely helpful in developing a personal value system. This is just as important as identifying our liabilities when completing a personal inventory.
Breaking Down Step Ten of AA Alcoholics Anonymous
“Life is 90% how you react to what occurs to you and 10% what happens to you.” Swindoll, Charles R.
Working on the Tenth Step of AA entails continuing to do what we've been doing for our recovery thus far, such as being honest, trusting and believing in ourselves, and paying attention to our behaviors and reactions. We've learnt to pay attention to how our actions influence others, and to take responsibility for the harm we do and strive to rectify it as soon as possible when the results are negative or detrimental. This is what it means to take personal inventory and recognize our mistakes as soon as possible.
Even though working the first nine steps of AA Alcoholics Anonymous has transformed our lives dramatically, we can always go back to where we were before since we have the disease of addiction. Our robust recovery comes at a cost: vigilance.