In this, the fourth and last blog in a series exposing the fallacy of the soul mate, I'd want to completely reverse my position and argue that soul mates do exist.
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I'm not going back on my word because of a wise and convincing reaction to an earlier post from one of my readers. I don't do so because I'm tired of writing pieces that cast me as a jealous jerk, but rather because I believe in soul mates… but not in the way we usually think of them.
While I don't believe in “finding your perfectly matched soul mate,” I have seen enough of evidence that we can become soul mates as a result of a strong and lasting love connection. Wouldn't it be feasible for humans to become ideally fitted and entirely irreplaceable to their spouses if they can have highly honed skills in music, athletics, and language arts?
A musical genius can develop perfect pitch and compose soul-stirring musical compositions. At the greatest levels of play, soccer becomes a game of angles, similar to billiards, with extraordinary footwork skills and a comprehensive awareness of the playing field. When a person becomes proficient in a language, he or she “thinks” in that languagethere is no effort involved in retrieving the language after it has become second nature.
Effective and polite negotiation of issues has become regular for a couple in the later phases of a fulfilling marriage along these lines. Love and respect for one another have been practiced so frequently that thoughts of divorce or separation are unthinkable. One's spouse could never be replaced because the relationship has gotten so complex and the compatibilities so intimately intertwined. Soul mates are two people who have become perfect for and irreplaceable to each other.
Soul partners become each other's “one-in-a-billion ideal match” in this way. This, in my opinion, is how a soul mate appears in one's life.
I believe that all happily married couples eventually reach this final, most satisfying stage of their relationship. Each couple's transition into the stage of becoming each other's soul mate would be unique, with some couples arriving earlier than others. (Unfortunately, many couples never come close to accomplishing this.)
Perhaps this transformation is the outcome of a successful reconnection at a significant transition point, such as after the launch of adult children or the move to retirement. However, this is not a passive processmarriages do not improve as a result of time alone; rather, they improve as a result of two people continuing to treat each other with love and respect despite the hardships that life throws at them.
When two people find their soul mate, the remaining years of their marriage are filled with stability and a rare and particular kind of earned intimacy. As far as I can tell, the developmental goals throughout the soul-mate phase of a well-nurtured marriage are to celebrate and create sense of the life you have lived together, to operate as holy custodians of each other's past, and to become generative towards others.
Is there something like soulmate?
What about psychology, if science can't prove soulmates exist conclusively? “While I don't believe in ‘finding your perfectly matched soulmate,' I've seen enough of evidence that we can become each other's soul mates as a result of a deep and lasting love connection,” says Shauna H Springer, a certified psychologist and relationship and lifestyle researcher. She contends that, while two people may not be “soulmates” in the traditional sense, it is possible to become someone else's soulmate simply by being a terrific companion.
Is it true that everyone has a soulmate?
When two people feel they are connected on a soul level in a substantial or unusual way, they are said to have made a soul connection. It's the feeling that your connection is bigger than the earth plane, that something bigger brought you together or is at work than the practical specifics of your relationship, such being coworkers or lovers. You might have a sense that you've known each other in a previous life or that your souls decided to meet now before this one.
Tess Whitehurst, spiritual teacher and bestselling author, tells mbg, “When I hear the word'soul mate,' it often appears to connote exclusivity.” Whitehurst, who has been in a love relationship for 20 years with the same spouse, believes the contrary is true: “We have multiple soul mates.” We're all connected on a soul level since we're all part of a common humanity or spiritual consciousness.
How do you know whether you've found your soul mate? Let's take a look at different forms of soul connections, keeping in mind that there may be some overlap. In a variety of ways, someone could be your soul mate.
Is there anything stronger than a soulmate?
Some individuals spend their entire lives searching for their soulmate, that one person with whom they can suck the last spaghetti noodle and feel completely at ease. But have you ever considered that there might be more? Is there something more to it? This is where your twin flame enters the picture. It alludes to a “mirror soul,” or the other half of your soul, which can sometimes lead to even more profound connections than meeting your soulmate. This person has the power to completely alter the direction of your life, as well as theirs. But, exactly, what is the distinction? Is it usually romantic, too?
Can you have 2 soulmates?
You can have multiple soulmates. “You will meet numerous soulmates in this lifetime,” Brown predicts. “You only have one twin flame,” says the narrator. According to the belief, if you meet someone with whom you have a strong connection, there's a good chance they're a member of your larger soul family.
Are soulmates rare?
Munroe graciously narrows down his subject field to only include people alive today who are roughly the same age bracket as each other, reducing the number of possible soul mates from a hundred billion to a much more manageable half a billion, in an attempt to simplify things a bit (because, hello, love is complicated enough as it is), But where does one begin in their search for their soul mate? It's all about love at first sight, according to Munroe's original definition (and every single rom-com you've ever watched). Soul mates identify each other the moment they lock eyes. Which, to be honest, isn't really useful. After all, how many individuals do you make eye contact with on a regular basis, as Munroe points out?
Only one out of every 10,000 people will find real love. One in every 10,000 years. When it comes to love, it appears like the chances are stacked against anyone.
The good news is that you may be better off without a soul partner in the first place. According to several studies, the concept of soul mates can really harm relationships. Couples were separated into two groups in a research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology; one group was told phrases like “built for each other” and “we are one,” while the other was told phrases like “see how far we've come,” hinting that love is more of a journey than a destiny. The participants were then asked to write down two happy memories and two unfavorable memories, as well as score their overall satisfaction with their relationship. Couples in the “journey” group had more favorable reactions overall than those who were taught to think of love as finding one's soul mate.
And, when you think about it, it makes logic. People who believe they are the perfect fit for each other are more likely to be unhappy when portions of their relationship (inevitably) become faulty, according to New York Magazine's “Science of Us” blog this summer. When the first sign of friction threatens to suggest otherwise, people who believe they are “meant to be” may be in for a rude awakening.
So, what exactly do all of these figures mean? Is it true that we're all romantically destined from the beginning? Is it really worth it to attempt if finding our soul mate is not only unachievable but also dangerous? Isn't love a complete waste of time?!
I propose that we all unwind. Falling in love isn't a science; it's just something we have to deal with as humans, and it's typically a lot of fun, whether or not we've discovered The One.
Can soulmates be toxic?
In certain circumstances, the belief that everyone has a soulmate can lead to people staying in risky, poisonous, and abusive relationships because they believe their soulmate is the person they're with. They're not your soulmate if the connection is unhealthy.
What is a pure soulmate?
“A soulmate is someone who understands you completely. It's a mind-to-mind connection, mutual respect, unconditional love, and complete comprehension. It's about being yourself and knowing that someone is not only listening to and comprehending your thoughts, but also walking alongside you.
How do you recognize your soul mate?
2. They're your closest companion.
Because friendship is the best basis for every relationship, why do you think so many rom coms include two BFFs who marry? It's a fantastic indicator if you and your SO have a trustworthy, happy friendship.
3. When you're among them, you feel at ease.
Because you spend so much time with your significant other, you should feel at ease and at ease when you're with them. Naturally, there will be butterflies and nerves at first, but once you've gotten to know one other, it should seem completely natural.
What age did you meet your soulmate?
The typical woman discovers her life partner at the age of 25, while males are more likely to find their soulmate at the age of 28, with half of people finding ‘the one' in their twenties, according to the study.
They also discovered that most people waited five months to declare “I love you” for the first time, as well as update their relationship status on Facebook, and six months to be granted their own drawer at their partner's house.




