How To Spot A Spiritual Narcissist

You've probably encountered a few spiritual narcissists before putting a name to them.

Simply said, this is when a person exploits their spirituality to bolster their ego without even realizing it.

They have a habit of flaunting their spirituality and looking down on others they perceive to be less spiritually progressed than themselves — to put it bluntly, they're a pain to be around.

They'll hound you with their opinions, and anything that contradicts their logic or research will be dismissed.

If you've ever dated a spiritual narcissist, you know they'll utilize technical jargon and defensiveness to make you feel like everything is your fault, all in the name of “assisting you in finding your spirituality.”

Well, there is an inflated sense of “self” in all forms of narcissism. The following are characteristics of narcissists:

When it progresses to spiritual narcissism, it's because the individual has begun to identify primarily as a “spiritual person.”

Their spirituality is the foundation of their identity, and it's simple for them to spiral when this occurs.

What is spiritual narcissism?

May states in Will and Spirit, “Simply put, spiritual narcissism is the unconscious use of spiritual practice, experience, and insight to raise rather than lessen self-importance.”

When we connect with “trying to become holy,” spiritual narcissism infiltrates our egos, said May, who treated addicts before supervising ecumenical spiritual directors at the Shalem Institute in Washington, D.C.

“Spiritual narcissism turns the spiritual quest into a self-aggrandizing process instead of a journey of developing humility,” May remarked.

You can see how devious and universal spiritual narcissism can be based on May's definition.

It doesn't just apply to apocalyptic Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, televangelists Benny Hinn, Todd Bentley, Jim and Tammy Bakker, radical leader Sun Myung Moon, judgmental atheist Richard Dawkins, and, dare I say, Rhonda Byrne, the founder of The Secret, as well as “gurus” like Andrew Cohen.

Spiritual narcissism can affect anyone on a spiritual path, and it isn't always visible. (By “spiritual,” I mean all attempts to find personal meaning, including secular or atheist wisdom, in the context of a larger horizon of significance.)

When we have a spiritual awakening or a philosophical epiphany, we can all fall prey to narcissism. It occurs when we believe we are fairly wonderful since we have advanced to a level of growth that others have not.

Narcissism can develop among spiritual searchers who believe they have been “selected.” Nothing enhances self-importance more than feeling like one is among the Select, like being picked first for a team on the playground.

Gerald May is wary of people who claim to desire to be like God. He highlights how terrified people often struggle to “amass personal power and control over fate,” rather than learn to let go and sacrifice, whether they are Christians, neo-pagans, or atheist existentialists.

How do you know a narcissist is in the beginning?

Having said that, understanding the “Even when you're intimately associated with a narcissist, “official” diagnostic criteria don't always make it simpler to detect one. Without a competent expert's diagnosis, it's almost impossible to tell if someone has NPD.

Plus, when someone is trying to figure out if they're dating a narcissist, they aren't usually asking, “Do they suffer from NPD?” They're wondering if the way they're being treated is healthy and long-term sustainable. Please refrain from diagnosing your conversation partner. Instead, keep reading to learn more about the state of your relationship.

You've come because you're concerned, which is understandable if your health is at risk. If you believe these indications apply to you, we'll offer advice on how to manage the problem.

How can you tell a secret narcissist?

Insecurity is a common symptom of NPD. This reveals itself in a covert narcissist's acute sensitivity to criticism.

Of course, NPD isn't alone in being sensitive to criticism; few individuals appreciate being criticized. However, how someone reacts to both genuine and perceived criticism might reveal whether or not they are overly sensitive.

Someone with hidden narcissism may appear to be immune to criticism. They may be empty, ashamed, or angry on the inside, and their dismissive, caustic statements are an attempt to hide these sentiments.

Passive-aggressive behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior can be used by a covert narcissist to express frustration or to make themselves appear superior. The following are examples of passive-aggressive behavior:

Tendency to put themselves down

People with NPD want for approval and rely on others to boost their self-esteem. Covert narcissists are similar to open narcissists, but instead of bragging about themselves, they tend to criticize themselves with the purpose of receiving compliments.

Shy or withdrawn nature

Other varieties of narcissism are less closely linked to introversion than covert narcissism. This type of NPD is characterized by a deep sense of insecurity and a fear of others seeing their failings. As a result, they may avoid situations or relationships that do not provide apparent rewards.

Grandiose fantasies

A hidden narcissist is more likely to ponder about their abilities and accomplishments than to talk about them. They can have a “I'll show you” attitude and retreat into a fantasy world of limitless prosperity or genius in which they are superior to others.

Feelings of depression and anxiety

Covert narcissists are more likely than other types of narcissists to suffer from sadness and anxiety. They may feel empty or suicidal as a result of a deep dread of failure and dissatisfaction over unmet perfectionistic aspirations.

Tendency to hold grudges

Grudges are held by covert narcissists for a long period. If they believe they are being treated unfairly, they may remain silent for the time being before retaliating in some fashion. These grudges can rise to sentiments of bitterness and anger, as well as a desire for redress.

Envy

People who suffer from NPD are frequently envious of people who have something they believe they should have. While a covert narcissist may not express their envy overtly, they may display bitterness and resentment when they do not get what they want.

Feelings of inadequacy

When covert narcissists fall short of their own lofty expectations, they frequently feel inadequate. This can leave you feeling ashamed, angry, or powerless.

Fake empathy

The ability of covert narcissists to appear sensitive and caring is usually self-serving and for show. They may try to be helpful or generous in order to get acceptance and admiration.

Can a narcissist believe in God?

A narcissist manipulates, controls, and dominates you by instilling fear in you. Even individuals who do not believe in God, such as those who are Atheistic, Agnostic, or Satanist, can be included. It is not the type of belief that is abusive, but rather how it is used.

Can spirituality help narcissism?

While their research was only correlational, it's likely that these variables have a bidirectional relationship. Spiritual practices are likely to be employed to support the narcissistic self, enhancing one's sense of being unique and entitled to special treatment. However, some spiritual training programs are likely to attract persons who have strong personal development goals that are tied to Western narcissistic society. According to the study, those with high degrees of both overt and covert narcissism may find the idea of examining one's own personal ideas and feelings and becoming a “enlightened being” particularly appealing.

What God thinks about narcissism?

Control is essential for a narcissist, just as it is for Satan. According to 1 John 5:19-21, the evil one has complete power over the entire world. Satan has henchmen all over the place, individuals who fuel his narcissism and are dependant on him, not realizing he is bad and believing his lies.

Is it a sin to be a narcissist?

Narcissism is a form of emotional abuse that harms people. The third reason for this message is that the Bible considers narcissism to be a sin. It's a sin because it DEFIES God's loving commands. “Love is not unkind,” says 1 Corinthians 13:4.

What is a spiritual ego?

The ego is the concept of self-awareness “I”, the person you consider yourself to be. It's the total of all your views about who you are, including your personality, value, and ability. A mind filled with spiritual concepts and beliefs is referred to as a spiritual ego. It's the concept and perception of yourself as a spiritually matured individual.

A spiritual ego's set of beliefs may appear to be more favorable than what you previously imagined yourself to be or believed in. You may have previously viewed yourself as unworthy and inadequate. You now see yourself as a part of a larger whole, and you are filled with thanks and admiration.

The spiritual beliefs form a blueprint, a concept of who you are and should be, when they are combined. What you believe about how the world operates and what you consider to be good and bad. It's the lens through which you perceive the world and interact with people.

So, in essence, a spiritual ego is performing the same thing as any other ego-mind. Developing a sense of self and a sense of significance from that sense.

The difference is that you may believe you have OVERCOME the ego and are living your actual altruistic nature, which can make the spiritual ego a little trickier. You may believe you're living from a better place because things appear to be better and you feel better, but the mind is still in charge.

What's more, you're more than your ego. But you won't see that as long as you're identified with your thoughts. According to Carl Jung's book The Undiscovered Self:

“Anyone with even a smidgeon of self-awareness assumes that he knows himself. The ego, on the other hand, is only aware of its own contents, not of the unconscious and its contents.”

To put it another way, you can only view the contents of the box from which you're gazing. You can't see yourself as anything other than a mind WITHIN a mind.

The ego is a representation of who you are, but it is not you. It's the filter, or film, through which the light of your consciousness is projected. You can have a spiritual filter, a successful entrepreneur filter, an I'm a loser filter… and as long as you're identified with the filter, it will impact how you view the world and yourself.

When you learn to go beyond the mind (as we do in my Beyond the Mind meditation course), you learn to detach from the ego and its actions, and to identify with your true self. The one who holds your intellect and other aspects of yourself.

Understanding how the mind operates and how a spiritual ego is formed is essential for this.

What is the fastest way to spot a narcissist?

It's reasonable to want to know if someone has narcissistic characteristics before developing affections for them or being overly attached to them. Nobody wants to be the victim of deceptive behavior.

It's also vital to avoid labeling someone before getting to know them, especially since many people exhibit a few narcissistic qualities but don't have narcissistic personality disorder.

Let's take a look at some of the more visible warning indicators so you know what to look for.

Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)

The fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders identifies nine broad characteristics:

• Lacks empathy and refuses to relate with other people's needs. They appear to be uninterested in making genuine connections. They have no empathy for others who are in distress.
• Has an exaggerated feeling of his own significance. Even if you're trying to relate to something they just said, they may mentally tune out as you start talking.
• Behaves as if they are “extraordinary” and can only be understood or associated with other extraordinary people (or institutions). They may be uncaring or even nasty to those they perceive to be “below” them. They may be more concerned with making a good first impression than with anything else.
• It is necessary for him to be admired. They may go to considerable efforts to ensure that everyone is aware of their accomplishments and victories. If they are humiliated or criticized, they may become irrationally enraged.
• Has an inflated sense of entitlement and demands special treatment from others. When they are corrected, put out, or treated as though they are “ordinary,” they may come undone.
• To achieve their own goals, they exploit and take advantage of others. They may frequently exploit others for their own benefit. They may add others on social media solely to increase their “likes,” but they never return the favor.
• Is frequently envious of others or believes they are envious of others. They may make fun of persons they admire and point out reasons why they shouldn't be admired. They can't seem to accept that some are more successful than they are.
• Has haughty attitudes and acts. They may be continually bragging about their wealth, power, or attractiveness. They might, for example, gloat about how much they get hit on before “complaining” about it.
• Discusses their fantasies of success, power, or recognition for their talent on a regular basis. Conversations may mostly focus on the type of luxury car they seek, as well as other material or superficial demands.