So, because spiritual leadership entails so much more than just reading the Bible and praying, chances are your spouse is already leading your family in ways you may not have noticed or appreciated.
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Personally, once I began to understand spiritual leadership in the sense of “modeling what good Christian living looks like and attempting to encourage the rest of the family to live that way as well” rather than JUST doing family devotions or praying together, it completely opened up my eyes to all the many, many, many ways my own husband leads our family ways I was completely oblivious to until I went looking for them!
Sure, I'm the one in our family who reads the most Christian literature, but it's my husband who has taught me so much about God's love for me… about tenacity, contentment, bravery, and faith… about giving and assisting, and what it means to be a loyal friend… When I'm right, he congratulates me, and when I'm wrong, he corrects me.
He may not sit down with me and read the Bible to me, but he does lead me to the Lord.
What are some of the ways your husband seeks to develop in faith (even if it's discreetly) and encourages your family to do the same? If that's the case, he's probably a spiritual leader in more ways than you think.
How do I motivate my husband spiritually?
1. Lead by example. What we do teaches our children more than what we say. Similarly, our men learn more from our behaviors than from what we say. Set a good example for your family by being a good Christian spouse.
When the Holy Spirit leads you to, love your husband well, serve him unconditionally, and submit to him. But keep an eye on your heart. If you're doing this out of anger or bitterness, there's a lot more work to be done than just persuading your husband to help out more or be a better partner.
2. Be as specific as possible when communicating the expectation or demand. Expect your hubby to not be able to read your thinking. Let your husband know that you need him to take out the garbage every night in a non-accusatory manner. “Baby, can you kindly take out the trash?” gently ask them if they forget. Some tasks, such as emptying a full trash can, may not come readily to them (insert eye roll). I understand. Simply inquire. Nicely.
3. Go half-way with them.
Even if you ask, your partner is likely to forget. When this occurs, meet them in the middle. Again, discuss and inform your partner with a loving heart. I washed the dishes, so could you just put them away while I shower?
*I know, Cynthia, you're thinking, I shouldn't have to ask him to do this… sister, I understand. But we've all come from diverse backgrounds. We are wired to be concerned about many things, and some of us are simply forgetful.
4. The chance to serve. Consider it an opportunity to serve your spouse when he fails you because he will. That's not enjoyable, I know. I understand that this isn't an easy question to answer. You can't change your partner no matter how much you ask. What you can do is alter your mindset if you have to pick up his dirty socks or dispose of his random wrappers.
5. Provide alternatives. Provide options for your husband if you want him to be more involved. Do you want to clean up after dinner or bathe the kids? It's now a win-win situation because you've divided and conquered.
6. Recognize that there are multiple options. I frequently worry if we are sabotaging our own support. We want our husband's involvement and assistance, but will we accept it only if they do things our way? My friend, beggars can't be choosers. And you aren't the only one who thinks this way. So relinquish control, realize that there are multiple options, and let your partner do things his way.
We might get so caught up in all the ways our husbands fail us that we lose sight of the ways they do love and serve us. It's important to remember that there are numerous ways to receive and give love. There are several ways to load the dishwasher, as well as several ways to do the laundry…. Our way isn't necessarily the best way.
7. Provide a secure environment. Our husbands need to know that we are a secure environment for them. A safe haven where they can be open and vulnerable. A safe haven where they can express their concerns or fears without fear of upsetting or disappointing us.
How can we show more grace when our husbands make mistakes? How can we love, forgive, and encourage them such that they know they will always be accepted? We need to lift them up while they are struggling. Listen to him when he loses his job and remind him of his strengths. Make sure he understands you trust him and that you believe in him.
8. Say a prayer. When all else fails, prayer is the only option (and actually should be our first course of action, not our last). Only the Holy Spirit has the power to convict and change our marriages. Pray to God when all other options have failed. Request that He send your husband a role model. Ask Him to assist you in serving without expecting anything in return. Request that He provide you with the strength to love your family well. Place everything at His feet and ask Him to help you. He will.
What is a spiritual leader in a marriage?
Being a spiritual leader entails both protection and development. This entails respecting and loving your wife, as well as assisting her in becoming the greatest woman she can be. It entails being a good listener and not always attempting to be correct, but rather being interested in what your wife is attempting to share with you.
How can I help my husband get closer to God?
Many of these concerns are shared by many of us. We find ourselves in a relationship with someone who is spiritually more advanced than us.
We notice places where our spouses fall short as we plug into the Christian church, but the last thing we should do for our husbands is compare their spiritual lives to someone else's.
I saw samples of what a man of faith looked like when I joined a church. In my mind's eye, I saw a Christian husband leading prayers at meals and in the evenings.
With his wife and children, a Christian spouse might lead devotionals. In all things spiritual, a Christian husband would take the lead. However, as my relationship evolved, all I could think about was how none of those things were being done by my husband.
He was a Christian, and we attended church together, but he never initiated Bible study or devotions with me… So, what am I to do?
It required a lot of reflection and conversation on my part to accept my place in his spiritual life. These six steps are for you if you've ever felt like your spouse is spiritually apathetic or drifting away from God.
Examine your objectives. Why do you believe your partner needs to spiritually mature? Are you making a comparison between him and someone else? Do you sense him distancing himself from God?
Reevaluate your expectations if you're comparing him to your father or a friend's spouse.
Helping him in his religion is a good line of action if you find him progressively drifting away from God, never reading the Bible, or stopping going to/being involved with the church.
Speak with your partner. We may have a notion of what our partner's spiritual life is like, but if you don't talk to him, you'll never know how you may support him.
You might inquire about his prayer life in a non-accusatory manner. You can inquire about his thoughts on specific topics. You might ask him to assist you in understanding tough ideas. You can start a conversation about a sermon you just finished listening to.
The purpose is to encourage spiritual inquiry through conversation. This isn't the time to brag about your abilities. This choice may not be the best for you if communication is already a challenge.
Make him a part of your spiritual routines. If you're praying with the kids, ask your husband to pray for everyone at random (Hey, sweetheart, can you pray over dinner?).
When you're in need of prayer, ask your partner to pray for you (I'm having a lot of insecurity, could you please pray for me?). Ask your partner for their interpretation when you come across a tough section (I've been grappling with the idea that God created everything in 7 days; do you think it was 7 24 hour days or something else?).
You can even invite him to join you in your bible reading schedule. As you introduce him to new chances, allow him the freedom to say yes or no without conditions.
Inquire about how you can assist. If talking doesn't work, simply inquire as to how you may pray for him. Always keep humility and respect in mind when approaching a conversation.
This is not the time to chastise them for their spiritual shortcomings; instead, provide a secure and vulnerable environment for them to seek help. If you feel led, inquire about how you may help him grow in his religion.
Set a good example. We can't make our husbands change their ways, but we can set a positive example for them. We set an example for our wives by reading every day and praying out loud on a regular basis. Allow the Holy Spirit to move within your spouse as you continue to be a light in your home.
Pray. If none of the previous options are successful, pray. We aren't the Holy Spirit, and we can't make our husbands change their spiritual lives or grow in their faith. Like the older woman I described before, the only thing we can do at times is pray over and over again, allowing the Holy Spirit to convict and grow our spouses. Even if it takes 20 years to notice a difference, pray.
Do not be concerned about anything; instead, present your requests to God in every situation via prayer and supplication, together with thanksgiving. NIV Philippians 4:6
How do I help my man spiritually?
This one may appear to be self-evident, yet it's easy to overlook. You could go weeks or months without sitting together in an actual church service if you're volunteering in the children's ministry or another area during the normal worship service. There's nothing wrong with serving (it's why we included it on this list), but don't let it become an impediment to spiritual growth.
How can I be a leader to my husband?
This post isn't for males who already know everything. It's for husbands who are slacking in their marriage. For men who have forced their wives to stand up and lead the family as a result of their lack of awareness or inaction.
Now, when I say “take the lead,” I don't mean “take the lead away from someone else.” I'm talking about taking charge of your own life. So when I tell a male, “You are the family leader,” I'm not implying that women aren't leaders. Men are being challenged by me. If you lack initiative or discipline, don't force your wife to be the leader.
Women are more powerful than males in many ways. So, when their husbands abandon their marriages and families, she assumes the role of leadership because someone has to.
As a son of a single mother, I've witnessed firsthand the strength and love that a strong woman can bring to her family. Because women have already taken action, this essay isn't a call to action for them. The primary issue in most marriages isn't a lack of female leadership.
This isn't a popular message among men right now. In reality, I rarely hear men cite this as a reason for their spouses' abandonment. The message from the ladies who departed, on the other hand, is loud and plain. They weren't able to fix it on their own… They wished fervently that their husbands had taken charge and led them.
Now, let me clarify what I mean by that. She doesn't want to be bossed around or dominated. She isn't searching for a tough guy. She isn't searching for a boss who will micromanage her every move. She doesn't want someone who is always upset, resentful, angry, or disappointed.
She's looking for a partner who can be vulnerable and converse about the important things in life. She's looking for a man that can lead the family in the right path and keep everyone going forward. She wants a man who is courageous enough to do the right thing even when it's difficult. She wants a man with thick enough skin to not take things too seriously.
I have a lot of conversations about marriage as a leadership coach. Whether my client is a male or a woman, being a better leader in their home is a frequent topic of discussion. Because I work with both men and women, I get to hear both perspectives. I've heard enough of what she wants and what he wants to be that I have strong beliefs on what spouses should do.
Here are three practical things you can do right now to help you step up and be a successful family leader:
1. Establish family and individual objectives. Make a list of what you want to accomplish as a family this month, quarter, or year. Some goals can be set for the entire family, such as going on weekend trips, participating in family activities, being healthier, and so on, as well as personal goals for each family member. Even young children should have objectives.
2. Have family gatherings. Once a week, get together to talk about what's working and what isn't, as well as the family calendar for the coming week and any other key recurring subjects. Make weekly commitments to your family about spending quality time together, doing chores, and so on, and ask to be held accountable. Then, once a month, go over the family goals and see how everyone is doing, what they're having trouble with, and what kind of help they need.
3. Set a good example. You are a good example for your family. They will do the same if you take care of your fitness, meet your obligations, and make time to sacrifice for your wife and children.
Everything, remember, is a leadership issue. Look in the mirror if your family has conflict, isn't healthy, and is always rushing from one thing to the next, stressed out and irritated. It's all up to you.
There is no higher honor and responsibility than being a husband and father.
What does God say about husbands role?
8. Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) “This means that men must love their spouses as Christ loved the church. For her, he gave up his life.”
“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold tight to his wife, and they shall become one flesh,” says Genesis 2:24.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV): “Two can protect themselves, even though one is overpowered. Three-stranded cords take a long time to break.”
11. Mark 10:9 says, “Let no one divide what God has joined together.”
12. Ephesians 5:25-33: Ephesians 5:25-33: “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, that he might cleanse her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, that she might be holy and without blemish. Husbands should adore their spouses as if they were their own bodies. He who loves his wife is also in love with himself. For no one has ever despised his own body, but rather nurtures and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,…”
What every man wants from his wife?
In order for a marriage to work, both the husband and wife must have trust, loyalty, fidelity, and love. The same may be said for compassion, kindness, and respect. As married people, we must adhere to a number of fundamentals, which I believe most of you are aware of and can mention.