Many movies lead you to believe that the perfect man/woman will appear at the precise moment when you're questioning whether true love equals happiness. The story goes that a soul mate is someone who is perfect for you out of a million other people. We chose our soul mates, according to my experience. A person may come into your life by chance or through an unexpected series of circumstances. That spiritual connection, on the other hand, takes time to build and realize.
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When you fall in love with someone, you're drawn to them not only for what they provide to your life, but also for what they take away from you. Finding your soul mate is a victory, and the prize is marriage for those who succeed “awww!” over and over again for the rest of your life.
We've been conditioned to believe that each person has only one soul partner. That is, there is only one individual who can be your yin and yang. A soul partner can seem like home because of the deeper connection they share; safe, secure, and calm. Finding your soul match, though, isn't enough. You won't be able to maintain your excellent fit in the long run. Love necessitates more. You may not always get a lifetime with your soul mate since you aren't ready to be a soul mate when you meet him or her.
So many relationships collapse because both parties did not arrive at the table at the same moment, despite the fact that they appear to be everything to each other. It takes a long time to be ready for adult love. It's a process in which you go deep emotionally and mentally within yourself. When you spend so much time wishing for a good relationship with someone, it's easy to get carried away “You ignore you, “the one.”
The difficulties, insecurities, and concerns that lurk beneath the surface do not vanish once you've met your soul mate. In fact, the reverse is true. Because you know yourself, your flaws are emphasized. As a result, you know he or she deserves a better version of yourself. You can't have long-term love unless you give that special someone your whole, healthy self.
A soul mate is the first person who recognizes you for who you truly are. They take on the form of a mirror. Being with them brings up a level of vulnerability that you were previously unaware of. Because you see so many of them in yourself, a soul mate rips through the walls without even trying. A soul partner, in other words, gives you a peek of who you can become. That can only be accomplished by sincere, selfless love.
What are the chances of marrying your soulmate?
Ah, the eternal romantic myth of the soul mate, which is still chugging ahead against all odds, literally. Assuming that your soul partner is chosen at birth, that you are around the same age, and that love is obvious at first sight, mathematical estimations suggest that your odds of finding your soul mate are only 1 in 10,000. (0.010 percent). Despite this, a 2011 Marist poll found that nearly three out of four people feel they are destined to meet the right partner.
Let's face it, your chances of winning the Powerball lottery are better than your chances of finding a mythological soul mate. Simply put, the numbers aren't on your side. However, poor chances aren't the only reason to discard the soul mate belief. The truth is that looking for your soul mate is a great way to end yourself in an unhappy marriage or alone.
Can you be married to someone who isn't your soulmate?
It doesn't mean your marriage isn't worth improving just because you haven't married your soulmate. You can have a fantastic marriage without being with the one soul mate you believe you were meant to be with. A great marriage, on the other hand, does not just happen. Both of you need to keep working on it. You also require alone time to do your own thing. To make your marriage work, you don't have to be cemented together at the hips. In fact, having your own different activities might help you get closer since you can see how well you work together no matter what activities you enjoy. In fact, doing things separately allows you to view things more clearly, making your time together even more enjoyable.
Do all soulmates end up together?
Soulmates can often go on once the lesson has been learned and the soul has been awakened. Sometimes soulmate relationships can last a lifetime, while other times they are too powerful and must be ended. Even if soulmates do not remain physically together indefinitely, their love endures.
Should I marry if not in love?
While I used to believe that a marriage should only be formed out of love, I've come to learn that this isn't always the case.
Some people, for example, marry for the sake of friendship. This could be due to a fear of loneliness or simply a want to share your life with someone. It makes no difference to such a person whether or not the other party is loved. He/she is fine with marrying the other party as long as he/she is truthful, trustworthy, and loves him/her. I knew someone who married her then-boyfriend under similar circumstances, however they eventually divorced after he had an affair. The majority of my parents' generation married for companionship and then worked on establishing love afterward (though whether they succeed or not is a different thing altogether).
Some people marry only for the purpose of producing children. One of them is a buddy of mine (I mentioned him before here). In my friend's instance, he truly wants to start a family, but he doesn't think he'll be able to do so in the next few years. He's fine with acquiring a mail-order bride merely to have kids by a particular age because he's not getting any younger. After that, he says he and his wife can both take the Ashley Madison path (i.e., have extramarital affairs) and that he doesn't mind.
Then there are those who married because it is expected of them. Marriage is a rite of passage for them, as well as a requirement of existence and a vital aspect of being human. They even set a goal for when they want to marry and work hard to achieve it! As a result, the significance of marriage stems from the fact that it occurs inside a specific time frame rather than who they marry. As a result, they have no preconceived notions about what their spouse should be like. They are fine with marrying that individual as long as he or she looks well, is in an acceptable age range, is from the same social stratum, and is of the same faith (all external factors, by the way).
Last but not least, there are some who married for the sake of love. These people marry because they love the person they are with and want to spend the rest of their lives with him or her not because of societal pressure, because they are of marriageable age, or because they want to buy a house (which some Singaporeans marry for). As a result, they are content to be single for the rest of their lives if they do not discover someone they adore. It's more vital for them to marry someone they adore than to be trapped in a marriage with someone they despise.
Why you shouldnt marry your soul mate?
You might be wondering if you're about to marry your soulmate as you walk down the aisle. Should you, however, do so?
“You complete me,” Tom Cruise tells a tearful Renée Zellweger in Jerry Maguire, and she responds, “You had me at ‘Hello.'” We all want to find that special person who will fit into the hole in our hearts that is precisely his or her size, and this moment resonates because we all want to find that unique person who will fit into the hole in our hearts that is exactly his or her size. Our other half, who will ultimately bring meaning to our lives by comprehending us in a way that no one else can. When you meet and exchange greetings with that one person, you simply know you were meant to be together.
But what if the secret to happiness isn't marrying your soulmate? The concept of soulmates can be traced back to Plato's Symposium, when the philosopher Aristophanes proposed the idea of two persons deriving from a single source. Fearing that humans (then androgynous and powerful) would rise up against him, Zeus separated mankind into male and female half, who thereafter spend their lives looking for their counterparts in order to feel complete again. According to Aristotle, “Love is made up of a single soul residing in two bodies.” Three shocking reasons why you shouldn't believe him, according to psychologists.
1. Possessing a “It's Possible That “Soulmate” Will Be Less Satisfying
According to studies, thinking of your partner as your soulmate can make you unhappy in your marriage. Believing that soulmates are a perfect match for one another might lead to excessive expectations. After all, if you're great for each other, your relationship shouldn't be unhappy, right?
Dr. Ted Hudson of the University of Texas discovered that there was no difference in the objective compatibility of happy and dissatisfied couples in a study of long-married couples. The couples that were satisfied and happy in their relationships claimed that it was their efforts, not their personalities' matching, that made their partnerships successful. The dissatisfied couples, on the other hand, believed that compatibility was critical to a healthy marriage and that they were incompatible with their partners.
Luis Valadez, a research psychologist, commented in response to this study, “That's where compatibility becomes a problemeveryone who is unhappy naturally blames it on the appearance of compatibility.” Rather of being loyal, couples worry if their lack of perfect harmony indicates that they married someone with whom they are incompatible. They leave the marriage to find their other half, the soulmate who will be a better and easier fit than their existing spouse, rather than undertaking the difficult effort of opening their hearts or knowing and respecting another human being.
2. Viewing marriage as a journey improves its chances of success.
So, if personality compatibility tests can't predict whether or not a marriage would work, what can? Spike W. S. Lee and Nobert Schwartz, psychologists, conducted a study that gives some light. They compared couples who saw love as perfect oneness between soulmates with couples who saw love as a journey in terms of relationship satisfaction. According to the study, couples who view their relationship through the metaphorical lens of “love-as-unity” believe that “relational discrepancies reveal a lack of perfect harmony and call into question whether she is truly his perfect match and the two hearts truly beat as one.”
When couples used a different metaphorical frame to think about lovea journey as depicted through the traditional wedding vowsthey had a higher level of relationship satisfaction, according to the study “I take you as my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do us part.”
The researchers discovered that viewing love as a journey was beneficial “focuses on the growth and purpose of the love connection, as well as the challenges it faces. Relational challenges are present in any relationship in this context, and they become important when partners sharing their ride reflect on how far they've come.” Unlike the “soulmate” couples, the “love-as-journey” couples regarded issues as challenges to overcome and as milestones in their relationship, making them feel better about their relationship and how far they've come together.
Relationship troubles, according to Dr. John Gottman, founder of The Gottman Institute, are an opportunity for couples to improve. He declares, “In every partnership, there will be conflict. Furthermore, disagreement exists for a reason: to help us learn more about our partner. Missed attempts to communicate are the most common cause of conflict, especially when one person is striving to become emotionally closer to the other. Disagreements in expectations between couples can also cause conflict. These are worthy of discussion.” Conflict, rather than being a sign of incompatibility, allows you to learn more about each other.
3. Everyday Moments Hold the Key to Success
Dr. Gottman determined that, rather than compatibility, the most important part of a successful relationship is how a couple interacts. He emphasizes the significance of turning towards each other in everyday situations, purposefully prioritizing romance and adventure, and sincerely supporting each other's life goals. According to Lisa Diamond, an assistant professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, couples see what they expect in each other, and those who expect to be happy together are the happiest: “Couples that have too rosy views of each other are the most content.”
So, if you're experiencing qualms about walking down the aisle, put them to rest! It makes no difference how you do it “The two of you are “compatible.” What counts is that you've both decided to spend the rest of your lives together. Although there may be some ups and downs, conflicts do not indicate that you are unsuitable. Take these psychologists' advise and look at each other through rose-colored glasses, remembering why you fell in love with each other and focusing on each other's positive traits for a happy marriage. Turn toward each other and respond to each other's needs in your everyday interactions.
Perhaps it's about two entire people who love each other and grow to become one, rather than about finding the other half who was torn from you.
How many Soulmates do we have?
You can have multiple soulmates. “You only have one twin flame,” says the narrator. According to the belief, if you meet someone with whom you have a strong connection, there's a good chance they're a member of your larger soul family.
What age do you usually find your soulmate?
The typical woman discovers her life partner at the age of 25, while males are more likely to find their soulmate at the age of 28, with half of people finding ‘the one' in their twenties, according to the study.
They also discovered that most people waited five months to declare “I love you” for the first time, as well as update their relationship status on Facebook, and six months to be granted their own drawer at their partner's house.
Who can be soulmate?
A soulmate is someone with whom you have a natural or profound connection. Similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility, and trust are all examples of this.
Does everyone have a soulmate?
Have you ever imagined what it might be like to finally meet your soulmate? Although not everyone believes in soulmates (which is fine! ), if you do, you might question, “How will I know when I've met the one?” The answer is that it is unique to each individual, as many people who have met their soulmate can attest.
Meeting your perfect mate is one of those “When you know, you just know” moments for some people. It's as if everything seems right and everything within you just clicks. For others, it's about sharing a shared experience, such as getting through your first fight in a way that makes you believe you can get through anything together, or simply witnessing how supportive your partner can be when you're hurting. Every relationship is different, and it's perfectly acceptable to fall in love at first sight or realize how compatible you are after years of being together.
Reddit has compiled a list of 10 lovely relationship stories from actual people who feel they've discovered their soulmates. I'm not sure what will make you believe in love if these stories don't.