We must be in a separation energy if we want to manifest the reality we desire. We become willing to allow and receive in this energy.
Before You Continue...
Do you know what is your soul number? Take this quick quiz to find out! Get a personalized numerology report, and discover how you can unlock your fullest spiritual potential. Start the quiz now!
These two methods will assist you in separating yourself from outcomes. You'll be able to live with ease and confidence once you've mastered this simple process. And you'll get what you want!
Step 1: Recognize how you're attached to the outcome
You have to be honest about how attached you are to a result before you can detach from it. Maybe you should just be honest with me and with yourself about an outcome you've been obsessed over in the comments below.
Then begin to notice how that attachment is impacting your energy and vibrational frequency. What does it make you feel like? You can begin to realize how it isn't benefiting you and how it could be preventing you from achieving your goals.
Step 2: Surrender the attachment with prayer
The next stage is to completely surrender it. This is incredibly easy to do. It's nothing more than a prayer. If you want to detach from a result, say this prayer every day for the next 30 days. Simply put:
“I release this attachment and yield to the Universe's guidance on where to go and what to do.”
That simple prayer will immediately transform your vibe. It links you to your higher self's voice, which will assist you in allowing and letting go.
You begin to come into a receptive and detached energy frequency in that area of accepting and letting go. You begin to resonate with the Universe and place your trust in it for the specifics.
Release every outcome
When we let go and receive divine guidance, as I explain in Super Attractor, the Universe reacts. You won't get the result you actually want if there is a controlling energy behind your activities. To attract your desires, you must first relinquish them.
People frequently inquire about how frequently they should surrender to the Universe. Every day, is my reaction. You are free to repeat your prayer as frequently as necessary. It's a good place to go if you're trying to control something or if you're particularly focused on a specific outcome.
It's a good idea to start practicing detachment and surrendering in areas of your life where the stakes aren't as high and you're more comfortable about the outcome. It will grow easier to free your larger attachments with time. Begin by relinquishing something to which you are less devoted. Let it all out!
Focus on feeling good
“You desire whatever you want because you think you'll feel great when you get there.” But you won't be able to get there if you don't feel great on the way there. You must be content with what you have while striving for more.”
Regardless of whether you have exactly what you believe you need, your pleasure with what you have allows you to remain happy and tranquil. So forget about what you believe you need and concentrate on how amazing you feel!
Feeling well will provide you with considerably more than you thought you required. To be happy, you'll let go of the need to get something, be somewhere, or have particular circumstances in place. Happiness will become the most important consequence for you.
Now is the time to start nurturing happiness. To focus on feeling good, use the strategies in my blog entries on the #1 key to manifesting and creative visualization.
How do you truly detach?
We form specific links with certain people at certain times and in certain places in our lives, yet these ties must sometimes be dissolved or ended. Detachment is a difficult process. Detachment isn't as appealing as it appears. It can be messy, and it can sap all of your patience. Detachment is a process that takes time and effort. Attachment requires twice as much effort as detachment. Detachment allows you to forgive, forget, let go, and move on while also allowing you to lose and win.
You will discover yourself in detachment, and perhaps you will lose them instead. However, distance is beneficial, especially when it comes to poisonous people. Detachment can assist you if you help yourself.
Find the reason for detachment and the person/ thing of attachment.
Why are you doing this? Now is the time to ask yourself why. What should you ask yourself? Consider how you can do it. When did you last ask yourself that question? It's difficult to do something if you don't have a clear rationale for doing it in the first place. As you progress further down the path of detachment, establish a compelling rationale that you can rely on. This reason should be sufficient to convince you to totally detach, and it will guide you through each day of your gradual detachment.
It should be forward-thinking. A one-time major cause won't last, and neither will you. This rationale should help you locate yourself even when all hope seems to be lost. The reason for detachment is frequently linked to the person or thing to which one is attached. Find the source of the problem and begin to consider how it affects you and those around you. Take a look around you and at yourself. When you realize you're losing it, detach yourself.
Release.
It's time for you to let it all out. It would be quite beneficial if you were to express your emotions. The longer you keep it in, the more difficult it becomes. We can only hold so much of our feelings and thoughts to ourselves before we explode when the moment comes. Yes, some emotions and feelings are better left unsaid or unspoken, but it's better to let go of the harmful ones. Let it all out, shout it out, sing it out, whatever it takes. Make a note of it and then toss it out. I believe that we have a finite quantity of tears we can shed for a person, and once that amount is depleted, you may feel as if there is no other way to let it out.
There are a plethora of ways to express oneself and let go of emotions. But try to keep it as unobtrusive as possible. You can discharge a specific quantity of feelings each day or all at once; the choice is yours. What makes you feel comfortable and peaceful is vital in detachment. This is about you and your emotions; no one should be judged based on how they feel. It is our ability to feel that distinguishes us as human beings.
Start little by little.
You'll finish up with something enormous if you start little. We all began with something modest, and growth takes time. You shouldn't shock yourself when you're detached. Begin small and gradually increase your efforts as time goes on. It won't be easy at first, but you'll get the hang of it. Begin by removing messages, but if that isn't possible, start with what you can. Only you can determine what you can and cannot let go of.
Certain things are difficult to let go of or detach from at first, but you will gradually learn and recognize when it is time to let go. Don't overwork yourself or push yourself too hard, or you'll lose track of why you're detaching and have to start over.
Seek and look forward.
Seek assistance. Look for a fresh start. Seek out new experiences. You need something to anticipate. This will encourage you to carry on with your daily routine while disconnecting. You might need something fresh to grasp on to if you're gently letting go. Keep your fingers crossed for a brighter future. Stop focusing on the past and start looking ahead to a brighter future. Allow yourself to let go of a bittersweet past and grasp on to a sweeter future. Start looking for a brighter hello instead of a sad farewell. Look for something new and intriguing.
Consider how much happier you'll be. Consider how much brighter your grin will be as a result. Consider a better version of yourself. Allow your thoughts and expectations to feed your desire to separate. There will undoubtedly be times when you want to give up, but if you retain a positive outlook on the outcome, you will be quite pleased with the result.
No shortcuts and detours.
It takes time and a lot of patience to achieve detachment. This is something you should be aware of from the beginning. Detachment is a difficult and protracted process. There are no detours or shortcuts. There is no simple method to break free from attachment. It necessitates double the work. You'll have to go back to the beginning, which I understand is difficult, especially when it's painful. But clinging on to nothing or reaching out to someone who is slowly vanishing is more terrible. This long path of detachment, this long voyage of self-discovery, you owe it to yourself.
Think forward. No looking back.
You can't go back in time. The past is vital in the detaching process; it can be this black hole that swallows you whole. It could be this trap that draws you in and kills you slowly. Looking back simply serves to make you want to give up. Looking back diverts your attention away from the present and future. Looking back can be beneficial if you let it, but too much looking back won't get you any further than where you are now.
Look back as little as possible; the past can show you your happiest experiences, but it also holds your greatest secrets and fears. The past contains both nightmares of agony and pessimism, as well as daydreams of hope and happiness. It's entirely up to you if you're prepared to sacrifice your future for the sake of the past. Consider the future. Consider the events that are certain to occur. Consider new and improved attachments. Consider how you could be a better and happier person.
Forgive.
Another important aspect of detachment is forgiveness. At any time, pride might take control. But don't let pride get the best of you. It can lead you to do things you'll come to regret, and pride can lead you to say things that leave wounds deeper than any sword can ever penetrate. Allow yourself to forgive them as well. This will aid in your mental well-being. And wouldn't it be reassuring to know that nothing else is preventing you from progressing, from separating yourself from the things that aren't beneficial for you? Forgive. Forgiveness is a six-letter word that takes a lifetime to master. Detachment works as well, but isn't it easier to hit two birds with one stone? You can forgive, accept, rediscover yourself, move on, and look forward with detachment. As you forgive them, forgive yourself.
Heal.
It takes time for wounds to heal. Perhaps one of the reasons you're detaching is that you require time to recover. Some ties in life might offer us joy, but they can also cause us pain. We can't stand to cure all of those wounds when they're too deep and many. Detachment is the only way to heal. If you find yourself in a relationship that leaves you with more scars than smiles, it's time to reconsider. Is it truly worth it to suffer for? You may love them, but shouldn't you also love yourself? You can't keep tearing yourself apart in order to make others feel whole. It's not always a good idea to take one for the team. Take your time and allow yourself to recuperate. Don't do it for the sake of others; do it for yourself.
Be grateful.
Be thankful for the suffering and anguish. Be thankful for the happiness and hope. Remember to be thankful for the memories. Accept the smiles and scars, the wounds and tears with gratitude. Be grateful that you've realized why you're detaching. There are so many other things and people for whom you might be grateful. Detachment is a journey and a learning process. Every day serves as a constant reminder of how much better your life is without the toxic people and things in it. Every day is an opportunity to see the bright side.
Be grateful for detachment because it can allow you a new chance to form stronger bonds with those who are far more deserving. Be thankful that you have the opportunity to look for yourself. You are given the opportunity to discover your own self-worth. This is an opportunity to perceive oneself as someone worth loving and fighting for. Be thankful. Thank everyone, but especially yourself.
Move Forward.
You've arrived at the final section or leg of your voyage. This is the result of weeks, months, or even years of detachment. It's time for you to stop looking back and start moving forward. It's time for you to live happily ever after. Even though it came at the cost of a messy goodbye, this is a new beginning for you. But, in the end, isn't it still worthwhile? You've realized what's going on. You've realized your true self, who you are, what you're capable of, and what will make you happy. You've triumphed through hours, days, and weeks of missing others, craving for their presence and contentment.
You've overcome numerous challenges, including periods when you questioned yourself and evenings when all you could do was overthink. That's it. It's time for you to take a step forward into a brighter future. It's time to love yourself as much as you love the people who actually important to you. Even after the darkest of days, it's time for you to shine. It's time to show off your battle scars and smile at the world. You've made it this far, and it's all been worthwhile. Think ahead and move on. One step at a time is all that is required.
We create our own circumstances because they don't come with a manual or instructions. Problems are always addressed first, followed by solutions. Life is a never-ending cycle of trial and error as we seek the ideal solution to our issues. There aren't always only ten ways to fix a problem; sometimes it feels like there's no way out. We will, however, always find a way. Life is unpredictable. Life is a teacher. Life was created to be enjoyed. Life adores you. You are the center of the universe.
Identify the reason
Ask yourself why you've decided to end the relationship now. It's critical to have a good cause to let go.
You may cave in and stay in the relationship if there isn't a compelling explanation. When determining why you want to leave the relationship, try to concentrate on long-term concerns rather than one-time issues.
Try to concentrate on the fact that your feelings for that individual have evolved through time rather than the fact that you had your first fight with them.
Release your emotions
An key stage in the process is to let go of the emotions you're experiencing about getting out of a bad relationship.
It's a good idea to release these feelings rather than bottle them up, whether you cry, dance, or attend a kickboxing class. You'll be able to release the tension and avoid saying something you'll regret if you have an outlet for these emotions.
Don't react, respond
During the talk, the other person may say something that elicits a reaction from you. A reaction is a split-second decision that frequently results in regret.
Take a deep breath and answer thoughtfully instead. It will be a more productive conversation if you give the other person some space in the talk and take a time to think more clearly.
Start small
Quitting a relationship cold turkey, like quitting smoking, can be hard and shocking.
In other circumstances, you might want to start small and gradually remove yourself from the situation.
Start by eliminating images of the two of you one day at a time. Delete their old texts on another day. Your emotions will remain in check as you gently release go.
Moving slowly in some situations, such as when the relationship is unpleasant or involves domestic abuse or mistreatment, might make matters worse and produce greater misery. Consider speaking with a specialist who specializes in these types of relationships about future actions.
Keep a journal
You'll experience a range of strong emotions as you let go of a relationship. While talking about them with others can be challenging, working through your feelings in some way can be beneficial.
A notebook can be a helpful tool for processing emotions in a healthy and therapeutic way.
Meditate
Meditating can improve your awareness and attentiveness, which can be very beneficial through a difficult breakup.
Meditation can also improve your focus, reduce stress, promote calm, and help you deal with negative emotions.
Be patient with yourself
It's difficult to walk away from a relationship that was vital to you. So, in order to go on, try to offer yourself some grace and patience.
It's important to remember that you can learn to form healthy attachments. It's all part of the process, and you can enjoy the ride.
Look forward
It will become progressively difficult to walk away from your relationship if you are fixated on what your relationship used to be like. It's easy to look back on a person or a relationship and see only the positive aspects.
Instead, keep an eye on the future. Rather than glorifying the past, consider your future happiness.
How do I stop being attached to outcomes?
What does it mean to become connected to a result, and how do we let go of it and achieve our objectives? How can we go from pushing and clinging to letting go and finding peace?
Angela yearned for a new job beyond all else.
She had recently graduated from college and had been “surviving in a soul-sucking job” since then.
She dragged herself to work throughout the day and looked for work at night, feeling increasingly unhappy and dissatisfied.
She'd gone on a few job interviews but never got past the first round.
Angela began to believe that this job was “the one” every time she got an interview.
She started daydreaming about the job and how it would transform her life.
Despite her best efforts, she was quickly overpowered by a growing sense of urgency to make her fantasy a reality.
Angela became emotionally invested in the outcome before she realized it.
She didn't just want it to happen; she felt compelled to make it so.
“I know I'm making a huge deal out of it, but I can't help myself.”
“I really want it,” she explained.
It was difficult to disagree with Angela's description of herself as “very woo-woo, but in a positive way.”
Angela's deep connection to spirituality gave her a sense of stability and positivity that others gravitated towards before her present job discontent.
During her job search, she began to worry if she had lost touch.
“Perhaps I'm stifling my blessings,” she speculated.
Angela realized she needed to adjust her approach after realizing that her neediness was probably turning others off and hurting her attempts.
She didn't know how, but she was willing to give it a shot.
Something about the gentleness in her eyes told me she was finally ready to let go of her attachment to the outcome.
Angela was now making herself emotionally accessible for the best outcome, rather than a predetermined outcome.
A modest space opened up for something new as she began to take the idea of letting go more seriously.
It's safe to say that most individuals struggle with becoming connected to outcomes, whether their method to manifesting goals is totally practical, completely woo-woo, or somewhere in between.
It's not that we're masochists, setting objectives and then torturing ourselves while waiting for them to arrive.
It's only that we're made of flesh and blood.
Emotions are a part of who we are.
We may have an easier time convincing ourselves to detach intellectually from how we want things to happen, but emotional detachment is a very different story.
How can we let go of our grip and allow our ambitions the space they require to thrive?
Here are 3 Steps to Releasing Your Attachment to an Outcome
While it's tempting to believe that you're all invested in a particular outcome, the truth is that you're only invested in a portion of yourself. It may appear to be a significant component, but that's because you've probably been devoting a significant amount of your energy to either rejecting or attempting to eliminate it. Unfortunately, the more forcefully you confront this aspect of yourself, the more firmly it establishes its position. Rather than trying to get rid of it, provide it with the tender loving care it requires. After all, it's terrified, thus it's linked to a result. More than anything, it requires your compassion.
If this part of you feels overwhelming at times, remember that you have other parts of yourself that are far more patient and confident.
There is also a core element of who you are that understands everything is well, which some people refer to as a Higher Self, Divine Self, or Inner Being.
This inner partreferred to as the Self in IFSis a source of endless compassion and tranquility, according to a therapeutic approach I prefer to use in my private practice called Internal Family Systems (IFS).
It is totally capable of delivering compassion and soothing to your many other parts.
Allow this central aspect of your personality to take the lead in your life and to soothe the part of you that is preoccupied with the outcome.
Scarcity is the most powerful motivator for attachment to a result.
Scarcity is a fear-based mindset that may wreak havoc on your aspirations, whether you're afraid about running out of opportunities or time.
Scarcity feelings can lead to rash decisions and an unhealthy obsession with what you don't have.
This effect has been seen in a number of settings, including financial scarcity and social scarcity due to feelings of loneliness, according to studies.
Keep all options on the table, even if they aren't exactly your preferences right now, to alleviate emotions of shortage.
Don't dismiss potential answers too quickly, and don't fall in love with a solution too fast.
Don't daydream about how your life will change once you have that one choice. Maintain as much neutrality as possible. Keep an open mind to new possibilities and avoid idealizing or forcing any single option.
When we're emotionally invested in a result, we prefer to focus on or accept only one answer, ignoring new information, ideas, or opportunities.
Consider whether you're limiting your view of what's accessible.
Is it possible that I'm blocking my mind and heart to new solutions that I'm not even aware of?
If you answered yes to either question, attempt to expand your horizons and make place for new possibilities.
The genuine solution to a problem is often something that isn't ready or available yet (and requires some patience) or something that was right in front of you all alongyou simply couldn't see it because you decided to dedicate 100% to a solution that wasn't working.
While asking for more may seem contradictory when you're only interested in manifesting one thing, it's a surprisingly powerful method.
This is how it appears:
- Imagine having three good job offers to pick from if you just want to get one new job.
- Imagine having two amazing persons interested in you if you're looking for a relationship partner.
- Imagine caring for a toddler and a baby (or two babies!) if you wish to have a child.
- Imagine yourself with a dream house and a vacation home if you want to buy a dream house.
The one word of caution is that if you plan on having more, you must be prepared for the possibility of many manifestations occurring at the same time. It might simply happen the way you expect it to.
Our minds enjoy having difficulties to solve, and they will happily solve any issues we give them.
If your mind is focused on addressing the difficulty of coming up with only one valid alternative, it will operate on the assumption that one is difficult for you.
However, if your mind is focused on addressing the challenge of deciding between or managing several good possibilities, it will presume that the work is simple for you and redirect its efforts to something far more useful: becoming extremely creative.
It will be more opportunity-oriented than fear-oriented.
It will unwind because its new problem is a wealth disgrace.
As a result, your actions will reflect a new degree of confidence, making fresh prospects far more appealing.
Before you know it, you'll be acting as if what you want is already a realityand it'll feel fantastic.
When we let go of our attachment to a result, it doesn't mean we're no longer interested in seeing it come to fruition.
It just implies that we're less concerned about the possibility of failing to achieve it.
Because we're protected, we've changed our focus away from terror.
That is why taking a sympathetic stance is so important.
It allows us to take a deep breath, open up, and let go of our grip on when and how our goal manifests.
Nurturing that is gentle but persistent is the key.
That's how we let go of our attachment to a result: we make ourselves feel safe enough to do so.
Get my free download if you need additional help.
To assist you in successfully releasing your connection to outcomes, I devised a checklist.
It's available for download HERE.
How do you detach with love?
We've gone over what detachment is and why it's beneficial, but you're probably wondering how to practice it. Detaching is a technique for staying in your own lane or staying focused on what you can manage and what you are responsible for, rather than interfering with other people's decisions. Some instances are as follows:
- Keeping your attention on what you can control rather than on what others are doing
How do you break an attachment?
Non-attachment is accepting that work, relationships, and material belongings are all temporary. Instead of wishing that these gifts of life would endure forever, they fully appreciate them now. When you know something is coming to an end, you can let it go without remorse. Accepting that everything will happen according to plan allows you to fully live your life, surfing the waves of your emotions without being held back by them.
Accept the fact that some aspects of your career or relationship are beyond your control. Keep experiences in mind and learn from them, observe your blunders, and consider how you may reduce the number of mistakes you make.
2. Meditate on a daily basis:
Meditation requires you to concentrate completely on the present moment, on mending yourself, on thinking positively, on letting go of any problems, and on the past and future. Your attention is being drawn away from your focus by these thoughts. Find some time each day to be alone in a peaceful space, take in positive vibrations, and talk to God about your life to work on releasing them. Initially, try to meditate for at least fifteen minutes, but after four days, increase the time. Avoid negative thoughts that can harm your mental and physical health by focusing on your breathing and body.
3. Allow yourself to let go of expectations:
We are frequently disappointed by people because of our expectations. When someone betrays your trust, don't dwell on it; instead, learn from it and move on. Concentrate solely on what is essential to you and will help you grow as a person.
For example, don't be concerned if you arrive late for a party with a friend. Tell them you'll drive yourself or find something else to do while you're waiting.
4. Maintain your composure in any situation:
Controlling emotions is another technique to avoid attachment. When things start to bother you, it's an indication that you're holding on to an expectation, an idea, a person, or a thing. Focus on your breathing for a bit. Take a step back from the situation to avoid reacting with anger or despair. When you're at ease and accepting of the circumstance, come back.
5. Lead a moral life:
Maintain your integrity at all times. We often form ties to things we shouldn't be doing because we've done them before with someone. Keep your vows, be honest with others, and don't steal or harm others. Concentrate on looking after yourself.
6. Read non-attachment-related books:
Step out and visit the library to locate intriguing books to read and broaden your knowledge to aid in your non-attachment practice. You may also find books on Amazon and Flipkart. This procedure will be made easier if you keep yourself occupied with good reading.
7. Maintain vigilance in the face of change:
Perhaps you're dealing with the relocation of a friend with whom you had a close relationship. Though you will be saddened by this loss, keep yourself occupied. Experiment with these modifications in the life of your loved ones that have no bearing on your own. Make a list of activities to perform throughout the day to keep you occupied and prevent you from feeling lonely.
8. Make a difference in your environment:
You have control over yourself, even if you don't have control over others. Detaching yourself from something or someone to whom you are enslaved necessitates additional life changes. Reorganize your furniture or cut your hair. Get a pet or declutter your space. Invest your efforts on improving yourself and refocusing your attention on new and better things. This will help you become accustomed to, and even welcome, change as a part of life, making it simpler for you to let go of things and people.
9. Apply what you've learned:
Every emotional connection carries a message. You may recognize that the knowledge is intended to help you learn to accept what you can't change, be more accepting, be more resilient, or do what you can. See if you can take a step back from the emotion and focus on the message you received from the experience. You will profit from the experience as you look back and see an element of progress in it if you have a little more awareness.
ten. Keep yourself occupied:
Don't allow yourself to stay idle and ruminate on the issue; instead, engage in activities that you enjoy. This can be accomplished by keeping oneself occupied with work or by interacting with friends and family.
You can even begin with a new pastime that you have been putting off for a long time. When you begin a new activity, the mishap that must occur to you takes a back seat, and you automatically begin to forget about it.
What is the Law of Detachment spiritual?
According to the Law of Detachment, in order to actualize our wishes, we must let go of attachment to the end result as well as the path we could take to get there.
The Law of Detachment, as explained by spiritual author Shannon Kaiser to mbg, is a universal spiritual principle that leads various faiths (such as Taoism, Jainism, and Buddhism) and boils down to disconnecting yourself and your emotions from your aims.
From the standpoint of psychology, neuroscientist and author of The Source “It takes time to create and strengthen neural connections until you are ready for a new behavior, relationship, or employment,” says Tara Swart, Ph.D. As a result, we don't want to get bogged down by deadlines, overthinking, or doubts. Swart points out that “the spiritual Law of Detachment is about faith and surrender rather than control.”
“When you are no longer bound by the outcome of how things must be,” Kaiser adds, “you open yourself up to a world of possibilities.”





